Is There Such a Thing as a Mental Limp?

Story Submitted by Kenneth:

When I met Carmela in person in front of a local landmark, after speaking online for a few weeks, I noticed that she had a slight limp in her right leg.  I asked her, "You okay?"

She replied, "Yeah, that's just my limp."

She gave me no further details.  It was slight, but I thought it best to make sure that she was seated and comfortable as soon as possible.  I asked, "Will you be okay to walk to the restaurant?"


We walked to the place I had picked out, and I immediately noticed something else: her limp had switched legs.  Whereas before it was her right leg, she was now dragging her left.

"Whoa.  That's weird," I said, "Your limp switched legs."

She stopped walking and said, "Which leg was it in before?"

"Your right.  Now it's in your left."

She said, "It's supposed to be my left.  Oops."

She continued on, dragging her left leg a bit.  I asked her, "Is it a fake limp?"

She said, "Maybe," and limped on.  I was puzzled, but we finally made it to our destination, which wasn't all that far away.  She wasn't too communicative during dinner, and it wasn't until our meals were served (she ordered pasta with marinara sauce) that something truly exciting happened.

She asked, "Have you ever had a limp?"

I said, "Probably, when I was in grade school.  I was on the soccer team, and I..."

Her eyes closed, she let out a loud snore, and plopped her face right into her pasta, as if falling asleep on the spot.  She jerked up, half of her face covered with sauce, said, "Shit," applied a napkin to her cheek, and off she went to the bathroom, at an impressive speed.  Her limp, in either leg, seemed to have vanished.

Best I can figure, she meant to imply that my story was boring, but had forgotten that she had just been served hot pasta.

When she returned, the side of her face previously covered in pasta was clean, but red.  I asked, "You okay?"

She replied, "Why would you ask me that?"

"Because I'm concerned."

"Yes, I'm fine."

"How's your limp?"

She fumed, "Shut up about the damn limp!"

The rest of the date wasn't as eventful, but despite her entertainment value, I couldn't justify spending any more time with such a strange person.  First and last date.


  1. It looks like she was going for a milder screening process for you than Clown Girl. If you were horrified by her mild "disability," then you weren't worth dating. But she's a terrible actress, you're observant, and she got so embarrassed that she got all "I'm just not that into you but I don't want to tell you so I'll act like a psycho" on you. Too bad you wasted your time.

  2. Nothing about this makes any sense at all.

  3. The story makes sense. Carmela doesn't.

  4. How's your pasta? Was it done to your liking or was it too li...lim...uh...NOT el dente?

  5. Howie, I think your jokes are growing on me. Like fungus!

  6. I think she would've been limping for joy if you'd asked her out again.

  7. Carmela could have a disorder called Narcolepsy. Any excitation could trigger her into falling asleep anywhere. Google it folks.

    The limp I don't understand. The only reason I've seen people have a fake limp is to get insurance money.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.