Bloodsport, Thy Name is Sand Castle

Story Submitted by Keith:

Anna and I had been dating for a little while when she asked me if we could go to the beach, early one morning.  We lived close enough, and so we piled some things in my car, and off we went.

On the way, she asked if we could stop at a toy store to buy shovels and pails.  "I want to build a sand castle," she said.  I really liked the idea, and I really liked her, so we found a store and grabbed the necessary supplies.

We were both in high spirits when we made it there, and we found a good stretch of sand, high enough up from the water.  We broke out the pails and shovels and went to work.

She shoveled a small mountain of sand to herself and fashioned it into a wall.  I had made a small bucket village when she came over and said, "Feel like helping me, or like fucking around in the sand all day?"

I said, "Aren't we here to play in the sand?"

She said, "I want to make a sand castle, not a stupid sand village.  We could go to any sandbox and make little bucket houses.  We have all the sand in the world here, and we're going to build something great."

It made no difference to me, but her tone was a little off-putting.  I helped her add more to her sand wall for about a minute before she said, "You're fucking it up.  Go back to your sand town."  So I did.  The day was becoming less fun, but I immersed myself in my own creations.

At one point, I asked her if she wanted to take a break and go into the water.  She said, "I'm too busy."  She was chipping away at the sand wall, adding windows, pebbles, and fashioning towers.  She added, "This will blow anything you make out of the water."

"I wasn't aware that this was a competition."

"Oh, well you made it one."


"Shut up."

It struck me that there was more at work here than mere sand castle building.  She seemed genuinely upset about something, and I asked her if she wanted to talk.  She replied, "Talking won't help.  If you're not going to help me, then leave me the fuck alone."

I asked, "How can I help you?"

"By leaving me the fuck alone."

I left her to her devices, and I went down to the water for a bit to clear my head.  When I came back, she had leveled my entire bucket village.  She said, "I needed the wet sand for my castle, and you obviously weren't using it."

I was miffed, but it was just a little sand village, after all.  I went to work building a new one, about ten feet away from Anna's opus.  She said, "I'll be expanding that way eventually.  You're going to have to move."

Not long after that statement, the sand gods began to punish her hubris.  I don't know much about sand castle building, but I know that you have to keep the sand moist, as dry sand crumbles.  Turns out, the sand Anna had used for the base of her creation had dried, and her wall, which was about up to her lower chest, began to tilt.

"No!" she yelled, trying to shore it up, but only succeeding in making it crumble faster.  "No, no, no, no!"

It toppled on top of her.  "Fuck!" she screamed, "Fuuuuuck!"  She kicked at the sand, kicked at her shovel and bucket, and stomped on the ground.

I surveyed my tiny bucket village, small but still standing.  I smiled.  Then, I drove Anna home and broke up with her.


  1. ...this lame story helped my insomnia. I'm off to visit the Sandman righ..Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  2. I would have gotten in my car and driven off.

  3. If this is the way Anna acts when she's just dating a guy, imagine the kind of wife she'll be to some poor idiot out there someday.

  4. Except that the OP didn't really break up with HER, did he? Everything else in the story screams that he's a pansy and SHE was trying to break up with HIM.

  5. ^I don't know where you got that idea from. Maybe she was trying to be obnoxious enough to break up with him, but I think that the more likely scenario is that she was miffed with him about something completely unrelated (maybe he looked at a girl in a bikini on the beach and went jealous psycho bitch?) and displaced her anger into the sand castle building.

  6. ^Because a relationship where one partner tells the other one to "shut up" and "leave them the fuck alone" and the man responds POLITELY instead of immediately firing a warning shot across the bow is clearly not a relationship of equals - it's one in which the man has no nutsack. And men with no nutsack don't initiate break-ups - that's just a universal truth.


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