Begone, Foul Wench

E-mail Submitted by John:

I'm Rachel and I want to memorize all of Shakespeare's plays by the time I'm 40.  Originally it was 30 but it's hard!  The best way to do it is I don't know how.

The thing is some of the plays are boring.  They're not all swords and sex and people sleeping with other people.  Sometimes a king walks out on stage and says, "I am a king and you are my subjects!"  the subjects say, "We are your subjects and you are our king!"  The king says, "I am the king of the subjects!  You are the subjects of the king!" and so on for 5000 lines.  No wonder nothing got done in the dark ages!

yes, a phd in English is in my future, but first I have to do this.  If you help me I'll pay you by washing your clothes.  A lot of people I know have to pay for washing machines so free washings isn't bad.  We'll meet in public and I have flash cards.  Or don't help me.  Prick.



  1. "swords and sex and people sleeping with other people."

    As much as "sex" and "people sleeping with other people" are two distinct activities.

  2. Doesn't she have any friends to help her? I'm sure there are other people interested in this impossible feat.

  3. Jared, I was just about to post that exact same thing.

  4. Hell, it's Shakespeare. "Swords" and "sex" aren't necessarily two distinct activities. :D

  5. Hell, I'll dress up and act the parts for her stupid goals for free laundry. I've been doing my own laundry and dragging it down 6 city blocks like a sucker for far too long.


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