How Come Zit?

Story Submitted by Monty:

When I met Gloria in person after courting her online for a couple of weeks, I was taken aback by the massive zit invasion on her face. Not her fault, of course, but there were more zits than normal skin on her face and neck.

I decided to make the best of it and ignore the outbreak as best as possible. Still, that was made a little difficult by how she dealt with her affliction. Maybe it was an allergic reaction, but whatever it was, they must have been itchy as hell, as she spent most of our time together slapping her own face to deal with it.

We were seated at an outdoor café and she was obviously in some discomfort. I suggested, "Have you tried calamine lotion?"

She nodded. "Didn't help. Has to run it's course." She slapped at her face an extra couple of times. "Besides, this isn't a bad outbreak. I've had some all over my body."

I asked, "What causes them?"

She said, "I don't know. Perfumes or colognes, maybe. Maybe even yours."

"I doubt it. You were already broken out when I first saw you."

"Maybe I wasn't."

"You were."

"You're a bit of an insensitive asshole, aren't you?"

She slapped at her face again. I replied, "I didn't do anything insensitive."

"You might have given me these itchy bumps and you just don't care."

"I didn't give them to you."

"Whatever." She slapped her face a few more times. Her last slap must have hit hard, because she said, "Ow! My face!"

I asked, "Do you want to postpone?"

She slapped at her face again, stood up, and said, "Yes. I've got to go."

She hurried off. I hope that wherever she wound up, she found relief.


  1. "Oh my nose!"

  2. A true gentlemen would have offered to slap her face for her. It's kind of like opening a car door.

  3. I know what it's like to have more broken out skin than normal skin. High school was a terrible time for me...

    But why the hell was she slapping herself? I would think she would want to draw less attention to it, not more.

  4. If it was an allergic reaction like she said, it probably has some nasty itchiness and stinging and the slapping was more of a reaction than a planned action.

  5. Dermatologists can offer special anti-itch medication for outbreaks such as this. And a good allergist could have helped her figure out exactly WHAT was wrong with her.

  6. @ Anne. Actually slapping is recommended over scratching to relieve itching. Ask anyone with a tattoo. It works. It's less stressful on the wound and helps avoid scarring.

    You could also ask the guy the kept spanking his ass because his balls itched.

  7. Pizza face was probably lashing out because she was nervous and embarrassed by her zit-ruptions.

    Dodged a grenade there OP.

  8. In all my time having zits I don't think they ever itched. Sounds more like she has hives to me.

  9. Since no one has mentioned the obvious - calling attention to your date's flaws is generally not the best thing to do on a first date.


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