Nickel and Dimed, But Clean

Story Submitted by Mark:

Grace had been my girlfriend for about four weeks when our schedules finally synched in such a way so as to allow for me to sleep over at her place.  We were both excited, and I planned to head over to her apartment right after work on a Friday.

I packed everything I thought I'd need, including enough for an extra day, just in case.  It turned out that I didn't need it.

After I made it to her place and we made out for a bit, I asked her if I could take a shower.  She set me up in her bathroom, and I brought my change of clothes and toiletries in with me.  It wasn't until I was ready to step into the shower that I realized that I had forgotten shampoo.  A quick glance around and I found hers, a brand available at any store.  I didn't think she'd mind if I used a small amount.

When I returned to her after the shower, she embraced me and smelled my hair.  "That's funny," she said, "You smell like my shampoo."

"I had to use a bit of it.  I hope you don't mind."

"Not so long as you pay me back for it."

I thought that "paying her back" meant sex or something related, and I smiled and kissed down her neck.

Turns out, that's not what she meant.  She pulled away and said, "Seriously, it smells like you used about fifty cents worth.  Do you have it on you?"

Still thinking she was joking, I said, "Can you break a twenty?"

She went for her wallet and said, "Yeah.  Give it here."

I smiled, and she said, "I'm not kidding around, Mark.  I paid for the shampoo.  You're welcome to use it, but it's mine."

I said, "It's just a little bit of shampoo.  Are you for real?"

She said, "Yes, I am."

I pulled out my smartphone and looked up prices for the shampoo brand.  I showed her that it was $4 and said, "I think I owe you more like twelve cents.  Fifty cents would imply that you'd only have eight uses until you have to replace it.  Twelve cents it is."

She said, "You might have used fifty cents worth.  I can't take that chance."

I said, "You'll get twelve cents or you'll get nothing.  It's ridiculous that you're making me pay, to begin with."

"If you don't pay, you're a thief."

I pulled out two dimes and placed them on her coffee table.  "Here you go," I said, "I hope it's worth it."  I gathered my things and left.  The way I saw it, if she was going to charge me for doing something as simple as using a tiny bit of shampoo, what other perceived charges did I have to look forward to?  I was done with her.


  1. If I had a family member, friend, significant other, homeless person etc. stay with me for a night, my stuff is their stuff. I couldn't imagine charging for shampoo, food, toilet paper etc.

    If they moved in with me I would expect them to contribute, but seriously $.50? That's pathetic.

  2. Glad you paid for it, cheapskate. She could have taken you to small claims court and wiped the floor with you, and you just don't want that on your record.

    Would you say that shampoo... (sunglasses)... got her out of your hair?? (WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!)

  3. ^ Actually, it's (YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

  4. ^ I think it's more like WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT the hell was she thinking?

  5. She's totally crazy... she forgot to charge him the towel usage fee!

  6. hahahahahaha Amanda WE ARE NOW BEST FRIENDS.

  7. Maybe she had a lot of guys spending the night. After a while those shampoo charges can really add up


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