Bird Brains

Story Submitted by Gene:

My date with Margo was probably my shortest date ever.  We hadn't even made it to lunch yet and were in the middle of a conversation about bird-watching (both her father and her grandfather, apparently, had been published ornithologists) when she asked me, "Have you ever wanted to be a woman?  I'd guess that most guys have."

I told her that I hadn't, which was the truth.  She said, "I don't believe you.  Every guy wants to be a woman."

"How do you figure?"

"You've got stupid junk between your legs that gets in the way every time you want to walk somewhere."

I told her, "My junk is anything but stupid.  And anyway, it doesn't get in the way.  It's in front."

"But it flops around and... you should just be a woman.  It would make things easy."

"No thanks."

"Say it.  Say you want to be a woman."


"Fine.  Fuck off," she said, and walked away, clearly in a manner that indicated that she didn't want to be followed.  I was confused by this sudden turn of events and I called after her, "Okay, fine.  I'll try being a woman."

She didn't turn around, and that was the end of that.


  1. What about the fun-bags; lung warts; ta-tas? Goden Bozos? They get in the way everywhere women walk too?
    Try running with DD's without a bra and see if you don't end up with a bloody nose and 2 black eyes!

    By yelling after her "Okay, fine. I'll try being a woman." was a last-ditch pussy move, dude(ette)

  2. I'm with Howie; giving in at the last minute was dumb.

  3. Thirded. OP was a pussy for changing his beliefs just to get some crazy bitch to turn around. Manliness fail.

    For the record: if I could control the world, I would make it so that every person over the age of 18 changes sex for one year so they could understand the differences and similarities between them. I really think that this would be extremely beneficial for society.

  4. ^ Welcome back Nikki...it's seems like you've been away for so long!

  5. ^ Indeed. Still wondering what happened to Fizziks and The Architect.

  6. I think The Architect is too busy rebuilding the Matrix, and therefore can't comment here anymore.

  7. Sounds like he didn't have any balls to begin with.

  8. I'm pretty sure that The Architect is lost somewhere in Fizziks cavernous vagina, then she in turn was miniaturized by a secret experiment and they're both now lost somewhere in her lab.

    I like Nikki's comments plenty, but I love Nikki's comments when she's drunk.

  9. Error, I've only made ONE drunk comment (that I can remember...shit,what if I comment when I'm blacked out!), but yes, it was probably brilliant.

    Fizzicks got a novio last I heard and a new job. No time for trolling anymore. :( Don't know about Architect, but I'm guessing he probably drowned in a tank of microbrew. It would've been a fitting death.

    Sorry I've been absent lately. It seems like once you miss a day around here, it's harder and harder to catch up! Glad to know I've been missed. <3

  10. ^ Yes, it was quite brilliant and extremely naughty. I didn't realize it was only once; your postings seem to be nicer and cleaner these days, so I just assumed. My bad. Maybe it's the lack of Fizziks ratcheting it up several notches that's making you so nice. That and the revamping of the comment section that caused less venomous trolling. I shed one lonely tear for the loss of Gulliver.


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