Healing the Sick

Story Submitted by Ray:

Tina and I were out to dinner, and everything was progressing smoothly for a first date.  She asked me about my family and I asked her about hers.

She said, "My parents and I don't talk.  We haven't in almost five years, and we'll probably never talk again."

"Why not?"

"My ex, Corey, could heal sick people by touching them.  Whenever I was sick, he'd put his hands on me and I'd get better within a day."

What an unusual, bullshit gift.  I said, "Most people do get better after being sick."

She said, "I got better faster.  But when my aunt got cancer and brought to the hospital, I asked my parents if Corey could heal her.  They didn't believe me, and my aunt died.  I told my parents that it was their fault, and they haven't spoken to me from that day to this."

"And Corey?"

"He disappeared about four years ago.  I have no idea where he is.  You're my second date since then.  The first one tried to rape me."

Tina was no longer someone with whom I wanted to be involved.  This was just a bit too much for me.

She must have used her mind-reading powers and said, "You're freaked out."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Yes, I am."

After dinner, we had planned to visit a playground.  We hit up the swing set and swung aside each other for a little while.  Then, she asked me if I wanted to push her, and so I did.  She laughed.  I laughed.  It was the high point of the date.

The low point immediately followed: after a push, a regular, standard push, she pitched forward off of the swing and fell onto the ground.

I jumped to her side as she tottered up.  She screamed, "Get away from me!"

I stepped back.  She stood, dragged her foot, and said, "You pushed me off the swing, you fucking asshole!"

"It was just a regular push!  I'm sorry if it was too hard."

"You pushed me off the swing!" she repeated, tears pouring down her face.

I moved closer to her to embrace her, but she screamed loud and long.  I looked around.  No one else was out, but there were plenty of houses around.

"Tina, calm down!" I begged her, but she kept on with the hysterics.

I waited there until she stopped.  I apologized again and she folded her arms and looked away.

At that point, I gave up and walked off.  I had gone maybe about fifty feet away when she came after me from behind.  I wasn't sure if she meant me any harm, but she walked alongside me in silence.  We made it back to our cars, drove off separately, and I never heard from her again.  Thank goodness.


  1. This is when things went wrong:

    She said, "My parents and I don't talk. We haven't in almost five years, and we'll probably never talk again."

    "Why not?" <--------

  2. This is when things went wrong:

    Tina & I were out to dinner.. <--------

  3. This is when things went wrong:

    Story Submitted by Ray <--------

  4. I thought everything was going fine until he tried to rape her at the end. Pervert!

  5. "She must have used her mind-reading powers and said, 'You're freaked out.'

    'No, I'm not.'

    'Yes, you are.'

    'Yes, I am.'"
    This part gets funnier every time I read it. (reads it again)Hehe...

  6. Best chain of comments ever. Well, til this one. But props had to be given.

  7. I think I'll stay not pregnant all night long on my own Joe.


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