Barney! My Pebbles!

Story Submitted by Elana:

John and I had been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, so I didn't think twice about asking him to stay over one Friday night.

Our night together went well, and the next morning, I woke up early to make him breakfast: French toast and pancakes.

Now, I have a little nephew who I babysit sometimes, and his favorite cereal is Fruity Pebbles.  I always keep a box on hand for him, but no one else ever eats it.  As a joke, I poured a bowl of them for John and set it up on the table.

When he walked in, I was tending to the pancakes and he said, "Something smells good."

I said, "I'm making myself French toast and pancakes.  I gave you Fruity Pebbles," and smiled, so that he would know that I was joking.

He stared at me with a weird sort of smile for a second, then turned and shoved the bowl of cereal off of the table, shattering it on the ground.

I shouted at him, and he said, "You're giving me some shitty cereal and treating yourself to a nice, hot breakfast?"

I said, "I was just kidding!"

He sat down and said, "Yeah, sure."

I yelled, "Get out!  What the hell are you thinking?"

He replied, "Now I think you're kidding.  I'm not leaving without a nice, hot breakfast."

I said, "You're leaving or I'm calling the cops.  Get out!"

He shrugged.  "So call them."

I left the room and phoned them out of his earshot.  When I returned to the kitchen, John was scarfing down the French toast and pancakes as if they were going out of style.  He left none for me and drank my milk right out of the carton.

I made myself busy collecting his things and putting them in a pile by the door.  Not long after, an officer came knocking and I opened the door.

John jumped out of his chair in a panic, but it was too late.  I explained things to the officer, and he ordered John to collect his things and leave, which he did.

Bastard left me half a pancake.


  1. Breakfast at Nicolas Cage's house?

  2. Mel Gibson I think

  3. I would have so laughed at that clever little joke... What was his deal?

    I could see if he'd gone that Coo-Coo for Coco-Puffs, but with the Pebbles he clearly behaved more like 'Bam-Bam No Thank You Ma'am'!

  4. All I can say is WOW at least you found out sooner rather than later. Thank God you had the common sense to call the cops and get him the fuck out of there. Who gets upset over what was obvious a joke (and a funny one at that). I'm glad you are ok and he didn't go ape shit and hit you.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.