You Could Be a Star, Kid

E-mail Submitted by Nicole:

I'm a fun-loving guy who likes finding creative ways to enjoy the finer things in life.  A nice dinner, a ride in a great car, a show, a moonlit stroll, I can do them all, and I know great places for each.  I'm like a one-stop fun shop!

You seem like you'd be a classic fit for a guy like me: you're beautiful, full-mouthed, and gorgeous.  The fact that you like amusement parks and travel is good too.  We'd be able to do a lot of that together.

I like long showers, being in dark places, and checking out scary things.  Scary caves, scary people, and even scary things between the sheets, know what I mean ;).....

I know some guys in Hollywood.  I think you could be a potential acress!  Don't go putting all your hopes up, but if you play your cards right we can maybe go to Hollywood together, try some things out.  I know men and women out there, and they're all beautiful, nubile people.

This is just a little taste...... if you'd want to suck down more, then there's plenty for you.  Of course, if you choose to be an UGLY WHORE then there's nothing I can do for you.

Your choice.



  1. I've been on many dating sites, and I've talked to probably hundreds of weirdos online, and I have never ever been randomly asked to do porn. Maybe I should have posted better pictures?

  2. All you need to do to know it's a great email is look to the end. If it says "Your choice", it's a winner.


    At first, I thought this guy was just shiesty. Then I thought that he was a creepster setting the OP up for A Bad Case of the Rapes. Then that last line....totally out of nowhere....that sealed the fuckin deal, man. I officially LOVE this email!

  4. If you think this email is cringeworthy, wait until you see a middle-aged hipster-wannabe douchebag try to perform this exact same act in real life, at a bar in Laguna Beach, on every hot girl he can approach. It's both hilarious and deeply sad.

  5. "Acress"? He wants to make her a farmer?


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.