11/22/2010

You Could Be a Star, Kid

E-mail Submitted by Nicole:

I'm a fun-loving guy who likes finding creative ways to enjoy the finer things in life.  A nice dinner, a ride in a great car, a show, a moonlit stroll, I can do them all, and I know great places for each.  I'm like a one-stop fun shop!

You seem like you'd be a classic fit for a guy like me: you're beautiful, full-mouthed, and gorgeous.  The fact that you like amusement parks and travel is good too.  We'd be able to do a lot of that together.

I like long showers, being in dark places, and checking out scary things.  Scary caves, scary people, and even scary things between the sheets, know what I mean ;).....

I know some guys in Hollywood.  I think you could be a potential acress!  Don't go putting all your hopes up, but if you play your cards right we can maybe go to Hollywood together, try some things out.  I know men and women out there, and they're all beautiful, nubile people.

This is just a little taste...... if you'd want to suck down more, then there's plenty for you.  Of course, if you choose to be an UGLY WHORE then there's nothing I can do for you.

Your choice.

Warmly,
Reggie

6 comments:

  1. I've been on many dating sites, and I've talked to probably hundreds of weirdos online, and I have never ever been randomly asked to do porn. Maybe I should have posted better pictures?

    ReplyDelete
  2. All you need to do to know it's a great email is look to the end. If it says "Your choice", it's a winner.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    At first, I thought this guy was just shiesty. Then I thought that he was a creepster setting the OP up for A Bad Case of the Rapes. Then that last line....totally out of nowhere....that sealed the fuckin deal, man. I officially LOVE this email!

    ReplyDelete
  4. If you think this email is cringeworthy, wait until you see a middle-aged hipster-wannabe douchebag try to perform this exact same act in real life, at a bar in Laguna Beach, on every hot girl he can approach. It's both hilarious and deeply sad.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Acress"? He wants to make her a farmer?

    ReplyDelete

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