Why Don't More Women Do This?

Submitted by Ethan:

I was on my only date with Anne when somehow or other we made it to talking about past relationships.

She said, "My last boyfriend broke up with me because I asked him if he had a hard time walking because of the stuff between his legs."

I was in a playful mood, so I responded, "So did he?"

She said, "I don't know.  Right after that he said, 'I think we should break up.'"

Something didn't add up.  She had previously mentioned that this had been a three-year relationship, and most three-year relationships I know of don't end because of a question such as that.

I asked her to elaborate more, but she became defensive and so I dropped it.

After dinner, we were walking and she asked, "Did I show you my tattoo?"

I didn't even know that she had a tattoo, and the question itself was strange.  We had just met.  Wouldn't she have remembered showing me a tattoo?

She lifted her shirt.  A verse was written in black, Chinese letters around her navel.

"What's it say?" I asked.

"It's Shakespeare," she said.

"Which verse?"

"Just his name.  In Chinese."

She rolled her shirt down and said, "I have four tattoos.  Maybe you'll see the other ones someday."

"Maybe."

She asked, "Want to know where it is?"

"Okay."

"I'm not telling."

We kept walking and made it to a bench.  When we sat, she put her leg on top of mine and said, "I'm so tempted to show you my other tattoos.  Why don't I just show you?"

"Why don't you?"

She looked around and said, "Follow me."

She stood up and I followed her down a side street and up someone's driveway.  She leaned against a garage and pulled down her pants.

Her upper left thigh had three small tattoos, in black ink, of penises and scrotum.

"A friend did them for me.  I got the first one after I lost my virginity, and every time afterward," she explained.

"Wow," I said, "That's great."

She pulled her pants back up.  "Get your mind out of the gutter. boy.  We're not going to do anything tonight."

"Okay."

She was right.  We didn't do anything that night, aside from the fact that she tried to slide her tongue deep enough to reach my small intestine when we kissed goodnight.