Someone's in the Kitchen on Fire

Story Submitted by Patrick:

My first date with Theresa was at her house.  She offered to cook me dinner, which is a hell of a nice first date, based on what I'm used to.

I brought over some wine, and one of the first things she said was, "Why wine?  I have plenty."

I had brought it over to be nice, to at least show some appreciation that she was going through the trouble of cooking.  She took it from me and said, "Bring me something useful next time."

At the time, I took it as playing around, but in light of what happened after, I'm not so sure.

She started her homemade pasta on the stove and we sat down on her couch to talk.  Talking turned into touching, which soon turned into something else for several minutes.

She broke away form me.  "Shit!  The pasta!"  She jumped off of me and ran for the kitchen.

A scream.  I ran for the kitchen but she intercepted me at the door.  She said, shaking, "Please wait outside my house for a moment."

I knew better than to mess with a furious woman, but that didn't stop me from asking her if there was anything I could do to help.

She repeated, "Please wait outside my house for a moment."

I left by the front door, closed it behind me, and waited on the porch.

What I heard next could only be described as the sound of a tornado made of broken glass, ripping through a six-year-old's birthday party.  There were crashes, bangs, shatters, and Theresa's screams... the screams...

"Fuck mother fuck fuck motherfucker fucking fuck fuck fuck!"

She was tearing her kitchen apart.  More than that.  It sounded like she was ripping entire appliances in half.  I had never, ever heard anyone that furious.

I spent what was probably a little too long waiting for her to call me back in before I reentered. 

She was still tearing the place apart and screaming, and when I entered her kitchen, there was smoke all over the place.  I was amazed that a smoke alarm hadn't gone off.

"You okay?" I asked, like an idiot.

"Do I look fucking okay?" she said, then shrieked.

"Uh... I'm probably going to go," I said, and I left without looking back.  That day to this, I haven't heard from her.  I have no idea what set her off, and I hope for the sake of whoever ends up with her that it wasn't the pasta.

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