Red Lights, Red Flags

Submitted by Mia:

Back in college, I was taking part in a group volleyball game on one of the quads when I met Aaron. An economics major, he was tall, smart, and had a great ass.  We caught each other's eye, exchanged small talk, I gave him my number, and after a break, we went back to the game, where my team proceeded to kick his team into next week.

Aaron called me a few hours after the game ended, and the conversation was so nervous, fumbled, and funny, that I had to say yes when he asked me on a date. 

He picked me up at the house that I subletted with four other women, and off we went. 

Aaron had a sort of funny quirk.  If he had to make a right turn at a red light, he would always make it, even if a sign forbade it.

He said, "I did it once, right in front of a cop, and he didn't pull me over. I've never been pulled over for doing it. It's a sham, like it's only meant for bad drivers only. As long as you're careful, you're cool."

I didn't exactly agree with his logic, and I told him so, but he brushed it off. He said, "You'll save so much time this way. Here," and as we pulled up to another red light, he signaled and turned right onto a suburban road. "See?"

I said, "Great, but there wasn't a no turn on red sign there. What you just did was legal."

"Shit," he said, then promised to find one for me. I told him that he didn't have to, but he ignored me.

We drove for a little while until we hit a big intersection that had a fair amount of traffic and a no turn sign. He checked both ways, then tore into his right turn, right in front of a tractor trailer!

It honked and flashed its brights. Aaron barked, "Asshole! We had enough time for the turn. He's definitely exceeding the speed limit. Where's a cop when you need one?"

At dinner, he helped himself to plenty from my plate, only afterward asking, "Do you mind?"

I asked him, "Can I take from yours?" and not waiting for a response, I took some of my own food back. He didn't seem to notice or care.

For all of the points he had scored the day we first spoke, he had lost too many to really seem attractive to me for any longer.  After dinner, I was ready to go home, and asked Aaron to drive me back.

"Score," he said in response, coupled with an arm pump. 

We made it back to my house, where two of my housemates were talking on the front stoop.

"Those your lovers?" he asked as we pulled up.

"You wish," I said, then, "Thanks for the date."  I opened my car door.

He said, "Oh.  We're done?"

I said, "Yeah, I'm kind of tired."

"I'm good at tucking people in.  Let me sing you a lullaby."

I couldn't help but smile, mostly out of embarrassment, for his sake.  Then, he started singing, "Lullaby... and goodnight... put your head down and sleep tight..."

"Good night, Aaron."

He kept singing and I closed the door.  I greeted my housemates and was about to enter the house when I heard Aaron shouting, "Lullaby and goodnight... da da da da da da da..."  He had jumped out of his car and was sing-shouting the song in my direction.

I waved and hurried inside.  He shouted for a few more moments before one of my housemates, still outside, yelled, "She said goodnight!"

He gave her the finger, climbed back into his car, and flew off.

He called me the next day to say that he had a great time.  I told him that I wasn't really feeling a connection.


  1. There's a lesson here, about how guys with great asses aren't always great people, but I'll leave it to someone else to explain.

  2. ^ What? They're not? Well THIS certainly clears a few things up for me!

  3. Guys with great asses don't have to be great people. Or have a personality. I went on a few dates with one guy who was so beautiful that I really had trouble speaking the first few nights, and then realized I wasn't really interested in anything he had to say either. He was a nice guy, just had never HAD to be interesting to land a woman.

    Another who was a model but had NO idea how to kiss. Really sweet, loved cats, was broken hearted by his ex wife but socially and sexually awkward.

    They succeed with women who get off on their looks. I think once they get older they either go for older women and learn to converse or go with MUCH younger women who are romantic enough to be taken in by the sophisticated Ralph Lauren look and don't ask for too much more than that. I dunno. Didn't stay around long enough to find out.

    I married a great looking guy - but looks more like Nathan Fillion than Brad Pitt or Robert Pattinson. And he is funny, an interesting conversationalist and a GREAT father.

    You can sleep with that great ass.... just don't marry him.

  4. Thanks, Pamela. There's a good head on your shoulders.

  5. I dated a model once as well...very sweet but not much of a personality. She was the 'Before" picture in a Curves ad.

  6. I didn't really see too much of a bad date here... It seemed like a really good date. She got a free meal (like half of one anyway), and judged a man to be incompatible.


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  8. I dated a model once. And then we broke up because she wanted upgrade to a blond. Then it turned out the blond she had an eye on was a good friend of mine and refused to date her. And then it turned out that all my friends who she thought she'd be able to steal wanted to still be my friends, and didn't really care about her much. And then she tried to bad mouth me to her new friends and they were all like "fuck you." And then I moved out of town and she started telling anyone who would listen that I raped her. I didn't hear about this until years later, when I came back to visit, so I guess she got me back at me for not being blond, I guess.


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