Ah, L'obsession

Story Submitted by Julian:

I was out at dinner with a small group, and one of my friends, Ben, had brought his girlfriend, Lauren, along, who I hadn't yet met. She was cute and personable, and we all got along great.

After dinner, we all went bowling, and, as what normally happens when my group and leisure time and beer mix, we teased and flirted with each other. Harmless, and we all knew it.

We went our separate ways, home alone or with a significant other (I was in the former category).

I woke up a little before two in the morning. My phone was ringing, a number I didn't recognize. I didn't pick up, but I set it to silent.

The next day, a Facebook friend request from Lauren. I accepted. After all, I had teased her bowling posture relentlessly the prior night. This was the least I could do.

Later that day, a phone call came, that same number that had woken me the last night.

I picked up. It was Lauren. I told her that it was good to bear from her, but asked her why she had called me so late.

"Oh, I must have been wasted," she said.

She didn't explain how she had come by my number, but I let that go for the time being. She asked if I wanted to meet up with her and Ben for an early dinner. I agreed.

When I made it to the restaurant, I saw Lauren, but no sign of Ben. She gave me a big hug and drew away slowly, as if a kiss was meant to come next. At once, I developed a funny feeling.

I asked her where Ben was and she said that he would be joining us separately. We sat down and she commenced with telling me her life story. Anytime I made a flippant comment, she laughed as if it was the funniest thing she had ever heard.

Finally, after a solid 20 minutes, after we had placed our orders and she hadn't mentioned Ben once, I stated that I didn't think that Ben was coming at all.

She confessed that he wasn't, and that she was obsessed with me. "Ever since last night, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I know you feel the same way," she said, "And I know what we can do about Ben."

Crap. This wasn't a good situation at all. Let me state that I did NOT share Lauren's skewed view of the situation. I thought she was plenty cute, but pulling a girlfriend away from a buddy is not how I operate.

I informed her that I didn't think that this was a good idea, that I wouldn't say anything to Ben about it, and that we should finish our dinner and be done with it.

She took my hand, but I pulled it away.

She said, "This is not cool. You obviously liked me last night.  I'm ready to break up with Ben for you, and all of a sudden, you're not interested?"

I said, "I was never interested."

"You're lying.  You were and you are."

I explained to her again that I wasn't and didn't mean to give off the impression that I was ever interested.

She said, "I'm leaving Ben for you, and you're going to have to explain it to him."

I told her that if I called Ben and explained the situation to him, he'd believe me, since he and I were friends.  At least, I hoped that he'd believe me.

She replied, "I bet he'll believe me, especially if I call him first."

She stood up and left.  I pulled out my phone, called Ben, and explained everything.  He believed me and wound up dumping her.

The following month or two involved a steady stream of texts and phone calls from her, which stopped abruptly once she probably realized that I would never, ever go out with her.