Spontaneous to a Fault

Submitted by Joan:

Alex wanted to take me to the top of a lighthouse for our first date.  Nevermind that the closest lighthouse was a couple of hours away.  He said that he'd take me out to dinner at a restaurant on the shore and then we could climb to the top of the tower.  Sounded unusual but fun to me.

Alex was two hours late in picking me up.  He didn't call, and none of my calls to him were answered, so I assumed that he was standing me up.  Imagine my surprise when I was in the process of making alternate plans when he knocked at my door.  "Ready to go?"

He apologized for being late, mumbled something about bad traffic and being out of cell phone range.  This was in a city with excellent cell reception, but I was willing to put it aside.  Fun times were potentially ahead.

It took us about two hours to make it to the coast.  The restaurant and lighthouse were both closed.  He became a bit distraught and led me down to the beach, where he kicked sand in every direction until he had made a sizable trench.  Then he offered to drive me home.  I asked him if we could stop somewhere for a quick dinner.  Fast food, any food, it didn't matter.

He sped back and we stopped at a 24-hour McDonald's.  When we made it to the drive-through window, he turned to me and asked if I'd pay for everything.  I told him that I wouldn't.  He sped off, mumbling something about eating the charcoal briquettes behind his back seats.

He didn't say anything else to me until he dropped me off at home.  "I had a great time.  Want to make out all night?"

I considered it, then realized that I didn't want to.  I shook my head and left his car.  One of the longest, strangest, and most awkward dates on which I've ever been.


  1. Glad the OP didn't try to paint her date as a bad as possible.

  2. Tiger Woods is The Man, a couple dozen mistresses and now he's officially dating already.

  3. "I considered it..."

  4. Virginia Lupus8/29/2010 7:03 PM

    The guy probably had unresolved psychological issues with lighthouses, death of a parent of some shit like that.

    He did spend a lot of money on gas, so the OP could have given him a hand job to end the evening on pleasant note.

  5. Seven-Thirty8/29/2010 7:13 PM

    6:10, Woods has even played well on golf courses with lighthouse, such as Turnberry in Scotland.

  6. I honestly can't understand why you went out with him after he was two hours late when you knew his excuse was bogus.

  7. "80% of success is just showing up."
    -Woody Allen when asked for the secret of his success

    Not to try to outdo Mr. Allen, but if I may I'd like to add, "...on time."

    For the first date, being punctual is one of the very most important rules. It shows trust (you showed up when you said you would), responsibility (you did what you said you could), and respect (you acted as the plan we both agreed upon). Yes, in this chaotic world things happen, but in this age there's little excuse for being late on a first date.

    Once they're more than fifteen minutes late, attempt to call them.

    If you get them on the phone, be polite and positive. Smile. Seriously, smiling in the phone will make your voice sound very positive. Remember, you are going to have a good time tonight, with or without them. Ask them if they still plan on joining you. If they say they are, be positive, but insistant in knowing when they will arrive. If they can't give an answer, or their answer is more than fifteen minutes later (making them a then total of 30 minutes late), then cancel the date right then and there. No matter what they say then it's done. They blew it.

    If you get a machine, leave a happy message wondering if they can still make it. Fifteen minutes later, leave a second happy message informing them the date is cancelled. Do not answer your phone for them or any unknown number for the duration of the night after that.

    If you can't leave a message for whatever reason, wait another 15 minutes, and then consider the date cancelled.

    Whether or not to rescedual is completely your call. Keep in mind that past thirty minutes late on the first date is officially you being stood-up, no matter the excuse/reason.

    If this was a game of baseball, that's two strikes right there.

  8. 6:47 - Seven-Thirty, did you forget to sign your name? B/c that boring post was very Aspergers-esque and in your style.

    Sorry you had a bad date, lady, but you kinda *were* asking for it. At least he didn't try to put a baby in you on the beach.

  9. You could have at least have gone inside for a pearl necklace.

  10. Seven-Thirty8/30/2010 5:23 PM

    All the pithy anonymous posts belong to me, Nikki, all of them.

    Your goal should now be to secret such venom that in the introduction to Jared's eventual book there will be note of the characters and even a mention on how Mistress Nikki subdued 7:30.


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