Just Put the Lime in the Coconut

Submitted by Marrah:

Drew, a hospital administrator I had met on a dating site, had canceled our first date twice.  I had the distinct impression that he was stringing me along, and I waited until the next time he reached out to me to tell him how I felt.

He became very defensive and offered to take me someplace "special" to make it up to me.  How was 3pm, next Monday?

"That's an odd time," I told him, "Let's do dinner instead."

He insisted, "It has to be then.  I promise."

It would mean that I'd have to take off of work a little early (I work in an electronics store), but I would probably have been able to do it without repercussions.

When I asked him where we were going, he only said, "We'll have a lot of time together.  You'll learn a lot about me.  I think you'll like it."  He told me to meet him in the parking lot of a professional building in town.

That Monday, I did, and he led me inside the building, where we both had to sign in.

We entered an elevator, and he had a hard time making eye contact with me.  I asked him if everything was okay.  He replied that he was slightly embarrassed, but glad that he was "doing this with" me.  A knot that had formed in my stomach was steadily tightening.

We made it to the third or fourth floor, and he led me to a door with a nameplate:

"Dr. Michael Yarrow, Clinical Psychologist."

Drew pressed a buzzer on the door, and it unlocked.

I asked, "Hey Drew, why are we at a psychologist's office?"

He said, "It's a good way for you to get to know me, and I think that it'll be healthy for us.  It's my way of saying sorry for canceling those two times."

I went inside with him, met Dr. Yarrow, and sat down for one of the most excruciatingly painful hours of my life.  If Drew needed my support, I would've felt awful for leaving, but I found his method of springing this on me to be inconsiderate in the sharpest sense of the word.

So preoccupied I was with these thoughts, I hadn't even noticed that Dr. Yarrow had asked me a question.  "Marrah, why do you think Drew asked you to come here today?"

"He didn't ask me, but I'm here to support him."

"I'm sorry?"

I explained to Dr. Yarrow that I had no idea that we were going to the psychologist's until we had arrived there.

Dr. Yarrow asked me to step outside, and he closed his door to be alone with Drew.  A minute or two later, Drew came out, still not making eye contact, and said, "I'm sorry for springing this on you, Marrah.  It was wrong to not tell you, first.  Do you forgive me?"

I forgave him, and told him that I had to go.  Thankfully, I haven't heard from him since.  I wish him well and hope that he's okay.  Far, far away from wherever I am.


  1. Wow. At least it only took one meeting to find out how crazy he was. Some people can hide it for years.

  2. Wow. Wow. This is unreal.

    I wish we had heard more about the session-- like, what were they talking about? Was he there for some particular problem, or were they just talking about life skills? I'd love to know.

  3. Man, and I thought it was awkward going to an NA meeting on a first date! Too bad you couldn't get an official diagnosis. ;p

  4. Getting an official certificate of diagnosis is a chance most of us don't get when we date absolutely mad people, it would stop girls rolling their eyes and saying "guys always say their exes are crazy!"

  5. ouch. That's just... painful. Good for you for sticking it out, and I'm glad he didn't call back.

    So, was the psychologist cute?

  6. Yikes . . .

  7. When you get to the psychologist's, do you want the red pill or the blue pill? Never follow the white rabbit down the rabbit trail. Nice slow motion bullet dodging OP.

  8. Psychologists have an obligation to disclose potential harm to others or to the patient. So Dr. Yarrow needed to know that you fully consented to the sick sexual practices ahead or he'd have to report Drew - after all, not everyone finds a full blood transfusion whilst being boned in your appendectomy scar erotic.

  9. Always takin' it to the next level, Fizziks. Glad to have you back. :)

  10. I'd have been out the door the second I found out we were at a psychologist's office to discuss his problems. It's painful enough to listen to my own therapist talk for an hour about me, let alone somebody I don't even know....

  11. So I am comment 11 and I am the first one to call bullshit? I doubt this happened. I think someone tried to one-up the story of the woman wanting to record their date together.

  12. This sounds pretty realistic

  13. No I think it's BS. The shrink would have asked who she was from get-go. He'd want her to sign confidentiality stuff, etc., not to mention he'd probably ask just out of common courtesy. And even if he didn't, nobody would just go into a therapy session with somebody they met 10 minutes ago without saying SOMETHING.

  14. Weirdo. Certified.

    My first reaction to the 3pm date was that he was married.

  15. @ 10:03

    Therapists don't make people sign confidentiality documents... what would be the punishment if she broke the contract?

  16. ^Yup. As long as the date signed a waiver form saying that it was okay for the therapist to talk to the OP, then everything is fine and dandy. And maybe the date "prepared" his therapist for the meeting by saying that he was bringing someone he had been "seeing" for "a while," only to reveal the truth at the meeting.

    This is, I'm sorry to say, a sadly plausible date.

  17. So there are people who have signed confidentiality waivers with doctors? Because I'm a nurse, I've worked lots of different places, and this has never ever not even once ever come up. If the patient says it's okay for the other person to talk to them (and obviously this guy agreed to it because he brought her to the appointment willingly) then it's all fine. If the patients says specifically that somebody is not to know anything, the staff working with the patient just refuses to tell that person anything. There are no forms.

    This is very plausible because it's really not that complicated. He brought her to the appointment therefore he is fine with her knowing private stuff about him. Period.

  18. In my experience with therapists, I've had to sign confidentiality waivers both times to allow my boyfriend or another doctor to be told information about my treatment. I don't know if it's that formal in other areas of medical care.

  19. I'm a Canadian... maybe that's why?

  20. Sounds like this could have been a hilarious date. I'd be into asking all sorts of questions about the guy and see what comes up. When else could you do this with an escort that knows the answer and is monitoring? It's such a bizarre thing to do, I'd have had to see where it led.

  21. Am I the only one who was hoping puppets would be involved? Anyone.....?

    @Fizziks: Speaking of violating appendectomy scars, you reminded me of the video for "I Can't Believe It's Not Booty" by Captain Ahab.

  22. Nikki hit the nail on the head, you need to sign waivers to allow other people to know about these things, its called HIPPA. You could be sued, fined and all other things for violating it in the USA, so you are off the hook babyforest.

    So ummm, yea, this never happened.

  23. ^Nikki said SHE had to sign for others to listen in. Is it possible that he signed and she was not required to? One wouldn't think she'd need to, she's not getting permission not giving it.

  24. lol, Canadians aren't real people.

  25. this comment section is quickly turning into a bad case of the canadians.

  26. @ 2:55 what do you mean I'm not off the hook? Was I on a hook?

    I could answer the Americans who are bashing Canadians here, but I am used to the abuse from Americans and I already know that Americans can dish it out but they can't take it. Watch how quickly this thread becomes full of threats and hate.

  27. I certainly hope we don't start a North American war over something as silly as HIPPA.

    ...but if we do, I have some forms I'm gonna need y'all to fill out to make sure that we maintain the proper level of confidentiality.


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