Something Else that Wasn't Built to Last

Submitted by Janie:

Chris was an engineering grad student at a nearby university.  His online profile made him appear smart, fun, and unusually deep.  Plus, we liked a lot of the same music, so I decided to give him a chance.  Our first date was in a public park.

It turned out that he was very fascinated with himself, and didn't seem too into me at all.  At one point, he said, "Wow, so you're a teacher?  That's very interesting!  I'm so lucky to be on a date with a teacher."  You know, like I was a 5-year-old.

He talked a lot about polymer engineering, and asked to see my cell phone.  It was an older Nokia, and I handed it to him.

He turned it around and around in his hands.  He asked me, "Isn't this one of the really durable models?"

Before I could answer, he knelt down and slammed it onto the ground, twice.  I jumped back, then found my voice and yelled, "What the hell?"

He handed it back to me with a smile, like he had proudly proven himself right.  The display was cracked.  Badly.

"Um..." I began, and showed him the damage.

He glanced at it.  "What?" he asked.

"You broke the display.  I think that you owe me a new phone."

He made a face and started making excuses.  "It was probably like that beforehand.  It wasn't my fault.  Those are built to last."

"No... you just slammed it against the ground.  I want you to replace it."

He grinned.  "No."

Well, this brought the date to a speedy close.  I told him that I had to go.  He seemed genuinely surprised that I wanted to leave, and even said, "I can't believe you'd want to go just because you broke your own phone."

What a psycho.  It turned out all right, though.  I filed a police report on my way home, and a little over a week later, a shiny, certified check for the cost of a replacement phone, down to the penny (and including tax!), arrived from Chris in the mail.  Thank you!


  1. Seven-thirty7/01/2010 8:58 AM

    Musical taste is apparently no indicator of morality.

    My daughter wants one of the new Apple phones.

    "Once they get cheap, Dad," she said.

    She's too young for a date like that, though.

  2. ^ She sounds old enough to put out though. Send her my way.

  3. Props for filing a police report. You're awesome!

  4. Definitely good job calling the cops. That turned out well!

  5. "Wow, so you're a teacher? That's very interesting! I'm so lucky to be on a date with a teacher." You know, like I was a 5-year-old.

    How does this denote you are a 5 yr. old?

  6. I wish I could say it was atypical for chemical engineers to act this way...but it's not.

  7. Smarty-pants7/01/2010 5:01 PM

    As a polymer engineer, I would just like to say that the guy was most likely really nervous and why he was just talking about himself is because he doesn't know how to interact with women. Pretty standard operating procedure for us nerds. I was like that once I'm sure. hopefully I'm better now.

  8. nomatophobia: He probably spoke in a cutesy babyish voice. Like "Awwww, how cute! A teacher!" as if she was a little girl reciting her ABCs for the first time.

    Good job OP! I'll bet he thought you wouldn't be smart enough to file a report on him; probably thought you'd just go home and cry.


  9. I love how people always say stuff like "HE seemed smart so I decided to give him a chance" or "We liked the same stuff so I gave her a chance"

    yeah, like your not on an online dating site because your just as pathetically desperate as they are...

  10. Smarty-pants, your post is ironic gold. :-)
    That was sweeter than glucose.

  11. Lizzie: It's almost like they're trying to come up with an excuse as to why they went out with the bad date.


  12. HAHAHAH what a hilarious story. I can't believe that guy!! I would have been just as speechless! What a loony toon!

  13. And older nokia? How much was that worth? Ten bucks? Was it really worth it? Are you that broke that you're that excited over it? I mean kudos, he was a ass and you did the right thing but i could understand if it was a four-hundred dollar phone not a older Nokia.. LOL


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