I've Had a Long Night: Part II

(Click here for part I)

Submitted by Robert:

I saw a girl sitting on the front steps when I made it within sight of the house.  She wasn't Barbara.  I watched her for a long time, then went up to her.

I told her who I was, that I was a friend of Barbara's, explained the situation up to me dropping Barbara off (I left out the part about me sneaking behind the house, although I guessed that she was the crying girl), and asked if everything was okay.

She introduced herself as Barbara's friend, Kerri.  Barbara and the guy I had heard, Eric, had just left, but they'd be back.  Kerri gave me the circumstances behind the evening, and here it is, best as I can remember:

My date, Barbara, had at one point seen one of our classmates, Diego (an acquaintance - we had never really spoken; a photographer and a pretty big guy), with an expensive camera.  Barbara wanted the camera.  She told Eric, and Eric (who, in Kerri's words, would, "Do anything for Barbara") stole it for her.

Diego apparently didn't know who had taken it until Kerri told him.  Diego had promised Kerri that he wouldn't tell Barbara and Eric how he had found out that they had taken it, but he confronted them in school and didn't keep that promise.  Barbara and Eric then denied having anything to do with the theft.

Now, Barbara was leveraging her friendship with Kerri to make Kerri tell Diego that she, Kerri, was wrong: that Barbara and Eric hadn't stolen it in the first place; that she, Kerri, was mistaken/had lied.  Diego was on his way over, and Barbara and Eric had left Kerri behind to deal with him.

"What do I do?" she asked me, "Barbara's my friend, but I couldn't keep quiet once I knew that she stole Diego's camera."

I offered to speak to Diego myself when he came over, but Kerri begged me not to.  She said that her friendship with Barbara was too important and that she was confused.  I explained to her that the friendship evidently wasn't too important to Barbara, to ask Kerri to lie to cover up a theft.  Kerri said nothing to this, but I sat next to her and waited for Diego.

He didn't take too long to come by.  He pulled up and walked over to us.  He was a lot friendlier than I had thought he would be.  He even shook my hand.  He asked Kerri what she wanted to see him about.  Kerri began, "It's about the camera."

She fell silent.  Diego pressed her, "What about it?  Who's got it?  I'm running out of patience, here."

I broke in, "Kerri, do the right thing."

Kerri spilled everything about Barbara and Eric.  She even offered to talk to the police.  Diego thanked her, said that he would take care of things, and he left.

I offered to make Kerri dinner.  Surprisingly, she accepted.  I suggested that we turn out all the lights so that when Barbara and Eric returned, it would seem like she either wasn't there or was asleep.  There were other college students presumably living there, so they likely wouldn't spend most of the night banging up and down the house.

Kerri asked me if I wanted to stay over, and I crashed on her couch, to make sure that she'd be okay through the night.

Barbara and Eric ended up giving the camera back to Diego a day or so later, although I heard that it had a few extra scratches from the adventure.

Kerri and I dated for a little while afterward.  When we're not in college, we don't live too close to each other, so we decided to stay friends.


  1. Wow - way to be, OP! But you seem to volunteer yourself a great deal; ya may want to be more careful "helping" people. It turned out ok here but I could see this getting you into real danger!

  2. Hmmmm. Not the most exciting resolution, but they can't all be epic tales.

    I think this site should run a contest; write your own ending to the story. And you need to include the words "vuvuzela", "krackalackin' " and Eddie Izzard.

    and... go.

  3. Better than centaurs.

    Still wondering what the "Should we ship her out or what?" comment meant. I can deduce, but I have a feeling there is a longer winded response that involves mittens and toasters that I never thought of. I nominate seven-thirty for the task.

  4. Maybe Babs and Eric were referring to the camera as a "she" and were talking about hiding the camera until it wasn't "hot" anymore?

    I'm with Fizziks on this one; things ended fairly well this time, but if it HAD been a human trafficking situation, you'd have been dead by now. Of course, if you were dead, then we wouldn't have had to wait all day for the anticlimatic ending to your story.

  5. So Robert went up to Keri and said, "what's krackalackin' sweet thang?" Keri told him that Barbara and Eric wanted to have a threesome, but Kerri wasn't into it. She was really more of a one man woman. Robert couldn't believe he missed a chance to Eiffel tower with Babs, but decided that Kerri and he could at least "hide" in the house until they came back. Robert was really hoping for the possibilty of getting an orgy going. Babs and Eric never returned, so Rob and Kerri turned on some Eddie Izzard stand up to get horny. Rob is really into crossdressers. All of a sudden things started getting hot and heavy and Rob was liking the way things were going. When Kerri was on top of him she grabbed her vuvuzela and blew in it so hard (that's what she said). Now Rob and Kerri live together in that old college town blowing their horns at tailgates and fantasizing about RuPaul.


  7. Does anyone else feel like they just watched the movie District 9?

  8. ^No. I actually enjoyed District 9.

  9. Nobody cares Nikki...

  10. I liked the story. It was unusual and the OP seems like a really good guy. ;) Well done, OP.


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