A Walk to Forget

Submitted by Jessie:

Hillary insisted on walking all the way across town to a coffee shop at which she said she was a regular.  All the way across town was a good four miles.  Regardless, it seemed like a good way to get to know her on a first date.

Well, turns out that Hillary didn't like talking.  Online, she wrote paragraphs and paragraphs about herself, her interests, her family, her job... but in person, she seemed content to walk fast, eyes ahead, and give the shortest possible answers to all of my questions.  After the first mile, I gave up and started talking about myself.

At the second mile, I felt more and more self-conscious, talking only about me, me, me.  I tried plying her with more conversation.  "Why did you study English?"

She'd shrug and reply, "Just something I was always into, I guess."

I tried really hard to engage her on a subject, but she made it impossible.  At one point, she even asked me, "Why do you ask me so many questions?"  Hmmm.  I don't know.  Maybe because the whole point of this is to get to know each other!

As we continued onto mile three, I decided to mention, as genteelly as possible, the above statement.  "If we don't make conversation, then how will we learn about each other?"

She replied something like, "Can't we just spend time together without making chit-chat?  Can't we just enjoy the time together?"

I asked her, "Then how do we learn anything about each other if we just walk for miles next to each other in silence?"

She said, "You can learn a lot about a person by walking next to them in silence.  Why don't we try it?"

For the final part of our journey, we did just that, and I did learn something.  I learned that walking next to someone you just met in silence is one of the silliest, most awkward things you could ever do on a first date.

We made it to the coffee place, thankfully.  But what's this?  It's closed down?  Well, drat.  What now, Hillary?

She said, "We can walk back the way we came.  Maybe we'll find a place to eat."

I was so hungry, I didn't care if we spoke or not the whole way there.  I just wanted to sit down and eat something.

Then, she said, "But I'd appreciate it if we didn't talk very much for the rest of the date."

I said, as nicely as possible, "I'm sorry, Hillary.  I prefer talking and not having to hold back with what I say.  I don't think I can do this."

She didn't say anything, but she frowned.  I told her that I was going to head out, likely take a cab or subway back home.  And I did just that.


  1. After all these hints, you still haven't STFU...

  2. Seven-thirty5/29/2010 4:08 PM

    The OP failed the explain what was going on.

    1) Was Hillary nice to walk with? Did her butt have a nice swing to it. Might sound strange, but I think a lot of guys can easily walk a couple miles if the tail by their side is nice.

    2) The OP should have tuned in. Maybe she was PMS'ing. Maybe she was disappointed in him. He should have been flexible. Women like it when they think they have gotten a guy to synch with their moods.

    3) Not all communication is verbal.

    4) Was Hillary mentally disturbed? OP provides no particular case for this.

    5) If the OP had waited until Hillary had some food and her blood sugar rose, he might found her suddenly much happier.

    6) Men and women go on dates with physical themes, such bungy jumping. It's all about examining fitness.

    7) Was the date a walk through a nice area or by a busy highway?

  3. I vote for 4)

  4. I hope Hillary writes in with her POV, although I do feel bad for the OP, that he had to walk four miles with a girl who obvs didn't give a shit about whether he was there or not.

  5. she was a net chick, she saw this dude in real life and wus totally let down. she was too much of a coward to end it early.

  6. I went through that exact same kind of walk once (with a friend I was visiting, not a date). She subsequently treated me quite terribly, and I couldn't figure out what was going on. When I described the whole thing to another female friend, she nodded knowingly and said "a really bad case of PMS. I've been like that before." So I vote for 2).

    The let-down idea crossed my mind, but being "too much of a coward to end it early" is a far cry from extending it with two hours of walking time. Even if her motive for getting away was to avoid having her friends see her with Shlubby Webguy, it would make more sense to just take the subway -- staring straight ahead and not talking is normal and encouraged, and the trip and date would be quicker.

  7. ...geez...women always have that 'out' of PMS.

  8. There is no excuse for that kind of rudeness. If you feel that bad, stay home and leave people alone.

  9. Again, I feel that I must point out the obvious. The OP has the worst, most annoying voice ever. Every syllable he uttered to this girl was like nails on a chalk board mixed with the sound of a dental pick on teeth. She couldn't stand the thought of blood pouring out of her ears and was tired of her eyeball twitching so conversation was kept to a minimum.

  10. I'm going to go with door #4 as well.

    For the first half I agreed with the ever astute Architect, but after the place was closed, she wanted to walk back and basically told him to STFU, she's worse. Why even bother?

  11. As for the PMS thing I've called and said we need to rain check the date I'm not feeling well. When its that time of the month AVOID people as much as possible. When I finally did go out with the guy he was really sweet. :-)

    I'm wondering more about the location of the walk was it nice and pretty? was it by a busy road making conversation difficult to follow for her? and then yeah I wonder if she would have opened up and been more chatty after eating.

    I've known both guys and gals who are crabby and closed off when they are hungry but let them get a snack or meal or something to eat and they are the most cheerful talkative people ever. so i can't help but wonder if that would have been the case with this girl...


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