Dancing to Dangerville

Submitted by Bonnie:

After a night out in London I stayed at a friends house.  I was making my way back home in the morning when a guy on the tube smiled at me. I had no make up on and was feeling very sorry for myself, so this was very nice.  I smiled back.

When it came to my stop, I got off the tube and headed for the exit.  The guy followed and stopped me.  I was half-expecting him to ask for directions.

The guy said, "Hi, I hope you don't mind me asking, but my sister told me that I had to be more spontaneous.  I noticed you smiled at me on the tube so I had to come and ask you for a date. I don't normally do this and this isn't even my stop."

I wasn't expecting that, and to be honest, he wasn't bad looking and seemed genuine, so I gave my him number and we went our separate ways.

When it got to the date, he'd suggested a salsa dancing bar.  Seemed like great fun, so I went happily along. When we got talking, he told me that he was 33 years old.  I was 24.  Did I have a problem with it? I didn't but was a little shocked.

While he was in the bathroom, I texted my housemate about his age. I didn't realise that he stood behind me and read my message, then said that I shouldn't have lied if the age thing was a problem. Again I told him it wasnt.  It was just unusual for me.

Then we started dancing. There was the instructor guy in the middle of the room and all the couples were in a circle around him. The deal was you learned a move then switched partners and so on and so on.  When it came to switching, my date refused. When the instructor noticed, he came over and asked us to switch.

After a while, I didn't feel like dancing any longer, so we sat down to watch the others.  My date told me that we should play a few "getting-to-know-each-other games and dares"

I said okay, just as long as they weren't crazy.  His first suggestion was body shots.  I honestly didn't know what they were, so I asked.

He replied, "It's when I take a shot and pour it somewhere on your body and I lick it off."

No thanks!

I decided to cut the date short.  On the way back to the tube, he made a quick call to American Express as his card wasn't working.  Then he shouted and screamed at the person on the phone about how he has a limit of £25,000 on this card so it shouldn't be stopped. This was in the middle of a very busy Covent Garden!

Once we finally got to the tube, I thanked him for the evening and went to leave.  He decided this was a cue for him to kiss me.

I managed to pull away and again say bye, but he started suggesting a foot massage.  I looked around, a little weirded out.  "Where? Here?"

He said, "Oh no... back at your place. I promise it'll be the best you would ever have and it will just be the foot massage, I swear!"  I thanked him but again and said that I had to go.  He started to beg.

I ended up walking away and watching my back all the way home. I didn't text him and didn't hear from him for another week.

When I did hear from him again, it was a text to tell me off for not getting in touch about going to the theatre with him and his sister..  Er... what?  At what point had I agreed to go to the theatre with him and his sister?  I didn't reply and didn't hear from him again, thank God!


  1. Seven-thirty5/28/2010 9:26 AM

    It was the OP's fault for giving out that I-like-having-my-toes-sucked vibe on the underground.

  2. You know...if you had a one night stand with him you could have
    "...got off the tube and headed for the exit" a second time in this story.

  3. ^ That would have also been her second one-night-stand in this story, the first one being her "friend" in the first sentence.

  4. Wowzers Nikki...pretty harsh.
    How's Auntie Flow this morning? Running wild!?

  5. Agreed Nikki. The Queen Mum would be appalled.

  6. What a topsy-turvey few dates! Architect calling pig-date a fake, Nikki hating on the writing style...what else could go awry?

    Is that something in my teeth? Lemme check it in this mirror....Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhgggg! NooooOOOOOooooooooo!!!

  7. This is just weird and all over the place. Are you sure you weren't just still drunk at your "friends" house and dreamt it all, Mulholland Drive style?

  8. LMFAO @ Nikki Above. Couldn't have said it better myself. LOLOLOLOL

  9. I'll have you know, 1:09, that Aunt Flow went back to her home in Bitchtown earlier in the week. I'm currently in FirstweekofthepillsoI'mreallyhornyville. :P

    Additionally, Fizziks, despite my phobia of morbidly obese people, I could handle your user pictures. Yes, they'd turn my stomach, but it was a manageable nausea. Your new picture is incredibly unacceptable. "Ana" kids have no place on abcotd. We are a fatties-only website.

  10. Nikki, don't you just love being in FirstweekofthepillsoI'mreallyhornyville? Best vacation spot ever.

    I agree that there was no coherent flow to this story, which bothered me. Grammar Nazi buries this post in a shallow grave.

  11. I agree with Nikki's first post. This bitch was obviously not from wherever it was she was visiting.

    I'll have to admit, I had to laugh at Aunt Flow running wild though... hysterically...

  12. While your uber-skinny girls physically looks miserable, I can't help but notice that smug smile on her face, as though she has finally reached her deathly nirvana and no longer has the brain power (because she oxygen-deprived it, no doubt) to care what anyone thinks anymore. Although, yes, I approve of your meta-message. I love meta-messages. Now please bring back a fat bitch for us to enjoy!

  13. I'm guessing Nikki doesn't have much of a social/dating life and gets her aggression and misery out on here by lashing out at random people who have enough social skills to at least get a date. Sucks to be you, but at least you aren't out murdering random people to take out your aggressions.

  14. 4:52 is probably Bonnie.

  15. 4:52, if you've been reading my comments for any length of time, you'll know that I've been with my boyfriend for three years. Fun fact: we met while out dancing. I have a fun, healthy social life, but yes, I do enjoy taking out my every day aggressions on retards and trolls on this site. I stand by my opinion that this date was poorly written and stupid. Sorry you're too sensitive to let me have an opinion. Have fun crying about it alone in your room while you hold yourself and jerk off with your tears.


  16. Oh Goddammit, Architect! Now we have to move them again! This is your second strike. Third strike, AND YOU JOIN THE OTHER BODIES.

  17. I know i'm a little late commenting but i just wanna say that Anon (4:52) most likely doesn't check up on a response on this site so its like fighting with yourself(s).


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