The Smooth Sounds of Sorrow

Submitted by Pat:

I am a radio DJ. The number-one DJ rule is to never, ever romance listeners, especially off of the request line. But one boring Sunday night one of my "regulars" called in. She was going on about a fashion show she had done that day (which meant to me that she had to be a looker) and was talking about how her plans had fell through for that night. Of course I offered up a night of hanging out if she was game. She accepted, and met me down at the radio station.
She arrived at the end of my shift, and yes, she was model-worthy. Her hair and make up were very much still done from the show, but she wore sweats and a t-shirt to top off her look. Still, she was hot enough to make anything look good, and she knew it.
Off the bat I could tell this would not be a good night. Besides her constant texting every three minutes like clockwork, she looked disappointed with me.  DJs often get told "You look so much different than you sound" (a.k.a.: "I thought that you would be better looking!").  I could tell that I wasn't her type in the looks department.
Figuring that my awesome personality could win her over, I started our "date." We headed out to get my car, which was not where I had left it. Yes, my car had been towed!
I covered up my anger about that, and asked if she wouldn't mind giving me a ride down to the pound to get my car, which was about a five-minute drive, and then we could get things going. She agreed, but with a very annoyed look.
At the pound I forked over my cash, got my car, and offered to drive her to a bar so that we could grab  a drink.
She looked at me and said, "Well, I'm not 21."
Uh oh. "How old are you?" I asked.
She assured me that she was 19. She then asked, "'Don't you know people at a bar or club, where it wouldn't be a problem?"  A.K.A.: You're the big radio DJ!  Can't you take care of this? And I probably could have, if she hadn't worn sweats and a T!
Well, I knew of a bar/grill that would allow minors in nearby. I suggested it and she agreed.
I walked towards my car. She stopped me.  "I want to drive."
I suggested that she follow me there. She said no, and that she was terrible with directions even when following behind someone. Okay, so I got in her car.
We got close to the bar/grill and I spotted a free street parking spot.  I told her to snag it. She pulled in, and I went to open the car door. She stopped me, "I don't feel comfortable leaving my car here."
I assured her that it was a nice area, and that there was no need to worry. She protested, going on about how she loved her car, just got her car, etc. I agreed and told her that we could find a lot to park in.
Then she just said, "Yeah, maybe we can just do this another night."
Caught off guard, I agreed and asked her to swing me back to my car.
She said, "I don't want to go back there. It looked scary. You can just cab it, right?"
Yeah, sure. I exited the car. She drove off. Needless to say I should have listened to rule number one!


  1. Run back to her! Don't waste a minute! Because, how often do two such shallow, self-centered people actually manage to find each other?

  2. And why should she have taken your parking advice, exactly?

  3. I certainly got a lot of good blowjobs (and some bad ones) during my time as a DJ. Then again, I worked night clubs. I wasn't some "big radio DJ" that plays top 40s shit. So I guess the "don't romance listeners" didn't really apply to me / real DJs. ;-)

    I think your rule should instead be "don't date 19-year-olds."

    She probably should have said to do this another night the minute you said "Let's go pick up my car from the impound lot first."

  4. haha, sounds like there's plenty of blame to go around. She sounds a little crazy, but then again I wouldn't take parking advice from someone who just got his car towed... just sayin'

  5. hey! your not Gulliver! >:(

  6. Seven-thirty5/05/2010 5:02 PM

    Since you already had her strung out on your voice you should had telephone sex on the first date. Try that the next time you compromise your ethics.

  7. She should have ended it way sooner rather than stringing him along all night. She clearly wasn't into him, or the date - SWEATS!

    It was totally dick of her to insist on driving and then telling him to cab it back to his car after she changed her mind.

    Kudos for keeping your cool after your car got towed. I've dated many a fool who threw a little girl fit when shit like that happened to them. Then whined about it for two days. Thank you for containing the urge.

  8. lol you totally bitched out at the end there


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