Sometimes, "Sorry" Doesn't Cut It

Submitted by Andrea:

Justin was a smooth talker, ridiculously attractive, and seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say.  Most guys I had met from the online world had some sort of issue that was apparent right off the bat, but Justin either hid his very well, or perhaps, wonder of wonders, didn't have any.  At least, not any that were too major.

His conversational topics were sometimes a little offbeat ("What's your favorite color of socks?") but he didn't seem stalker-weird.  Just quirky-weird.

Things became uncomfortable-weird when I returned from a bathroom trip and found him across the table from another woman, in my seat.  He turned to me as if I was interrupting something important.

"Andrea," he said, "This is Melanie."

I figured that he had bumped into her and that they were friends.

"We're on a date," he informed me.

I stared at him and said, "Come again?"

He said, "I'm sort of... I kind of want to be on a date with Melanie instead.  Sorry."

I looked at Melanie, who gave me a look as if to say, "Why are you interrupting my date?"

I turned to Justin and said, "But... how... who... we were just on a date."

He shrugged.  I wondered if I was on candid camera or if this was some elaborate prank.  However, the more I stood there, waiting for more of an explanation, the more I realized that they were both serious.

I leaned in to Melanie's ear and whispered, "Hope you like herpes.  It's why I wouldn't sleep with him," and left.


  1. I...wooooooow. Who is this girl that's she's totally cool scamming some other girl's date? Does she think that he's not going to "trade up" on her like he did on the OP?

  2. Thats tough, Sorry OP Keep on...keeping on

  3. That's tough. Sorry Op, Keep On....Keeping on.

  4. I am hardly surprised this happened, the Jimmy Soul song works both ways.

  5. Is anyone else curious about why all of the most ridiculous and improbable stories on this site are posted by JMG?

  6. ^ Dude, they're all posted by JMG. He's the owner of the blog, and is the one that goes through and relays the stories he gets through email. If you read the very first line of the post, it tells who submitted the story to him.

    However, if it doesn't start with "Submitted by," then it is a JMG original. It will probably be about a Jewish girl.

  7. Unfortunately, I think that the most ridiculous and improbable stories on this site are likely the most honest out of them all.

  8. 5:15 - No need for your vitriol, man. Are you just projecting your regular Saturday night activities onto the OP? Get a therapist.

  9. har har fatty!

  10. Nikki, if you want to defend Female OPs you need try a little harder.

    In, my opinion 5:15 is probably right. This girl, when met in person, did not pass on physical attraction. Ok, it was real shitty of the guy and 5:15 got a little carried away.

    Let me give you an example of projection. (Women dominate the field of psychology so you would think they could use it in the proper context)

    A girl asks her boyfriend if he has 'doubts'.

    Most guys overlook this as test or insignificant but in reality she is 'projecting' her feelings.

    And for guys, if this question is ever posed to you, simply say "No, but I think we should start seeing other people."

    Believe it now, don't waste time, go find someone who cares.

  11. ^ Or just sleep with her friends. If she's having doubts about the relationship, she's practically begging for it.

  12. Sorry, 4:09, for not being a psych major in college. I'll make sure to take a few community college classes this summer so I can better impress people on the Internet.

  13. 11:50, you really need to at least use some new phrasing. You realize that right now you don't even pass the Turing test of AI, right hatebot?

  14. I think, once again, we are all missing the point of this story. Where the HELL did the other girl come from! Did guy casualy walk over to the Hot-Chick vending machine located in the corner while OP was in the can? Where the hell did she come from!?

  15. 12:38, that is a game played by stupid people, she was waiting the entire date for the other to leave so she could sit down and the two of them get off on her reactions.

  16. If calling you uncreative is me being defensive, I would say you are additionally dense. You could be replaced by an unchallenging algorithm. Your gag is dull. I'm not asking you to stop calling people fat, just to spice it up some. That's not too hard, is it?

  17. ^ Reach up in the sky. Did you catch it? Nope... keep trying.

  18. (sigh) anonymity, the bane of polite people.

  19. Indeed. @11:50, Fizziks is just calling you out on your predictable, repetitive MO, your Lilliputian vocabulary, and your dearth of creative essence. She is neither getting defensive nor denying her Brobdingnagian girth. In fact, she is so fat that, when she sat on my face, I couldn't hear the stereo.

    Furthermore, Anon11:50, you shall heretofore be known as Gulliver.

  20. Ahahaha! JD shows 11:50 how it's done!

    (Although, secretly, 11:50...I kinda liked the "fat bitch" running gag.)

  21. Thanks, JD! Besides, if I were defensive, I wouldn't have posed for than line of Spencer Gifts greeting cards :P

  22. I loose sleep at night wondering if I will have enough wit the next day to adequately comment here and not be mocked for my outdated slang. Perhaps I shouldn't have worried so.

    @12:52, um he has a name, it's right there. Are you drunk? Which she is her is getting off? I'm pretty sure you're drunk.

  23. Don't worry Nikki, the "fat bitch" is here to stay (You're not going anywhere, are ya Fizziks?). Oh, and I'll keep saying the joke too.

    It's just that now, it's gained a name.

  24. Nice job on the naming of the shrew JD and Fizziks! Down with anonymity! I also liked the "fat bitch" running gag but wouldn't mind a little more of a build up to the punch line. Work on it Gulliver and maybe one day you could be as big of a loser as all of the rest of us regular posters on this site ;-)


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