I Skipped That Day in Sunday School

Submitted by Stacey:

Hugo was a singer in my church choir.  He had a great voice and he seemed like a nice guy, so I introduced myself and got to know him.  We both had similar aspirations and enjoyed the same sorts of things.  More than that, I felt comfortable with him, and he came across as trustworthy and honest.

I usually wait a little while to become physical with someone, not because of religious considerations, but more because I want to feel as though I'm more than just a hook up.  I've done the hooking up thing before, and I invariably felt gross afterward.  Hugo understood and didn't even mention anything physical until one night.

We had split a bottle of wine, put on a movie, and he gave me such a sweet look that I couldn't help but kiss him.  It felt like a roller coaster free-fall, but I really enjoyed myself.

We didn't go very far that first time, and he was polite and respectful.  The second time, we went a bit further, and the third time, further still.

After we had been seeing each other for a little while, he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him.  Even though I was expecting the question, it still winded me a little.  I told him that I needed some time to think about it.  He told me that he wanted me to be comfortable and to take all the time that I needed.

One night, after we had spent a nice time together, we went back to his place, made out, and removed clothing.  I told myself that I could always tell him to stop if I felt that it went too far, and that he would be understanding enough to respect what I wanted.

We were naked in his bed, curled around each other, and he asked me to flip over on my stomach.  I did.  He moved away from me and reached into his bedside table.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

He replied, "Nothing bad.  I promise."

The next sensation I had, it felt like he was spreading something on my rear.  I couldn't tell what it was.  Then, he exhaled and I felt a weird scratchy thing.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, this time more insistent. 

When he didn't answer, I flipped over and sent a white, powdery substance scattering.  His nose had some on it.  The first thing I thought of, stupidly, was powdered sugar.  The second thing I thought of was cocaine.

"What are you doing?" I hissed at him.

He made as if to say something, but looked at me as if he had never looked at me before.  It was one of the most frightening moments of my life.  I went on, "You're snorting cocaine?  Off my ass?"

He wiped his nose and stammered, "I... it... it's something people... it's just to relax.  I was going to give you some, too!"

I jumped out of bed, pulled my pants on, and left the house even without fully putting on my shirt.  I flew down the sidewalk, called a friend on my cell, and had her pick me up.  I must have taken twenty showers over the following two days.

In the following days, weeks, and months, Hugo still came to church, but sporadically, and he never once made eye contact with me.

He's moved on.  You should, too.


  1. 1. I don't think that the link is relevant enough, Jared. It's a far leap from snorting coke off a girl's ass to being a coke smuggler and dog fucker. Poor form, sir.

    2. This is how I first read this sentence: "The next sensation I had, it felt like he was spreading something on my EAR. I couldn't tell what it was. Then, he exhaled and I felt a weird scratchy thing."

    As you can imagine, I was pretty confused/alarmed and had to go back to re-read.

    3. I've never done coke, so maybe I'm just improperly informed, but I didn't think anyone did coke to *relax*. I thought it was a stimulant?

  2. haha great story, whats this girls problem he did offer you some!

  3. I am all for this link! Hilarious and a great setup.

    And, uh, he *exhaled* as you felt the weird scratchy thing? I may not have much familiarity with coke, but I thought the object was to inhale it, not scatter it all over the room. I also find it odd that OP kept asking what he was doing and didn't simply flip over (or turn her head) to see.

  4. I like how Fizziks and Nikki are trying to hide the fact they're both cokeheads :)

  5. Haha, point Jared! ;p

    Seriously, if you ever met me in person, you'd agree that I am one of the last people in the world who should ever try coke. I'm wound up enough naturally. ;)

    As for dog-fucking, no. I'm a dog *lover*, true, but I prefer to save my animal boning for horses. I'm a classicist like that.

  6. Nikki = Bride of Mr. Hands?

  7. Myself, I like how 10:23 is trying to angle for a threeway with cokefiending chicks ;P

  8. That's pretty much me being myself :)

    What what? Fizziks is a chick?

  9. If it was powdered sugar, would you have stayed?

    Yea, cocaine is bad, but the date sounded really fun.

  10. Ever since that surgery, 10:59! :D

  11. @Fizziks 9:24 - my guess is that he exhaled in preparation for the snort. The scratchy feeling was his scruff as he put his face close enough to get coke on his nose; Scarface style:-)

    But what kind of coke user doesn't make damn sure a girl is cool with it before trying something like that. The look on his face was probably from realizing how much money he wasted when she rolled over...dumbass!

  12. Anyone else remember seeing Christian doing this on Nip/Tuck?

  13. @Architect - maybe her rack wasn't ample enough.

  14. Stacey sounds like a cocktease.

  15. ^ Coketease.

  16. @Architect: Have you seen "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle"? NPH totally snorted coke off that hooker's ass, and he's one of the pimpinest people I know, even though he loves the cock. (A predilection that I'm pretty sure I can break him of if I stalk him hard enough.)

  17. Guilty. I've done coke. With the new found knowledge that it turns you into a dog fucker, I guess I won't try it again. Right after this one last line.

    @Fizziks I'm thinking the scratchy thing might have been the credit card to cut the lines with?

    @Nikki - I can't imagine anyone relaxing on coke. After talking about how awesome you are and how you're totally going to start a band with your friends and then open a restaurant and then, and then, and then remodel your house and and and ohmygodyouguysarethegreatest *crash*

    Sex sucks on coke. As if homeboy would even be able to get it up anyways. Maybe it has to do with him being christian and wanting to be "bad", and not quite getting it right?

    Former catholics are the nuttiest sexual deviants I have ever known. Must be something in the eucharist.

  18. Handel's Messiah is long and demanding. It's not uncommon for church choirs to use coke to keep their energy up. Sort of like truck drivers on speed.

  19. This can't be real. First time and choirboy is gonna pull that on this kinda girl? She's got to be making it up because a) you smoke weed to relax (which can also make you horny) and b) you can't have sex with coke-dick.

    @9:22 Yes, you are the only one.

  20. ... You can have sex on coke; I've done it many times. And yes, it's awesome.
    You guys have got to start getting creative with mixing your drugs. Viagra works, whether you're on coke, meth, x, lsd, etc.

  21. ^ I stand corrected, you can do it on coke. But my personal experience, is that there is usually shrinkage and general fizzing out down there. Well yeah! Add Viagra to anything and it can "work" for over four hours.

  22. Hmmm, no one has heard of the techno song by DJ Caffeine "Fuck on Cocaine."

  23. Forget the coke...who the hell gets in bed with a guy, gets naked and plans to "tell him to stop if I felt that it went too far, and that he would be understanding enough to respect what I wanted." What the fuck did she think they were going to do, discuss politics?

  24. No, just consensual sex

  25. These are all fake, but so entertaining. What, no guys in lingerie? Wha'happen?

  26. 10:24, she thought they were going to read the bible. At least, that's what my priest and I used to do. And we were usually undressed at the time.

  27. Anon 7:23, LOL, we must have attended the same church!

  28. ^ I think that's pretty standard for all churches, actually.

  29. Here, here Julie. That made me wince a little. Then she turned over! Well, if I don't like it up the wazoo, I can just tell him to stop! Now that I think about it, that's probably what really happened and she made up the rest so no one would know he tried to butt rape her.

  30. Nomatopia or whatever your name is - Let me guess you're a athiest? i've seen you get your jollies everytime theres a story with the mention of religon.. Get over it dude.. I've been reading alot of these stories today and you've popped up many times on many different days.. What do you do, sit around all day everyday reading these things? Get a life.. i could under you spending an hour or so reading this but days and days and days? I feel bad for you, it must suck. LMAO.


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