With Friends Like These...

Submitted by Julian:

Anna was a dinner date of mine a few years back.  We were on the subject of past relationships and she mentioned that she was friends with all of her exes except for one, "but I'll get him," she said.

I asked her what she meant by "getting" him, and she said that she was saving money for a huge surprise for the guy: a truck full of flowers, a singing telegram, an all-expense-paid trip... somewhere... she said that she really wanted his friendship and didn't understand why he didn't want to be friends.  Therefore, she was going to do (what she called) the "single nicest gesture" she had ever done for someone and give him all of these flowers, telegrams, and trips.

Then, she asked me if I was friends with all of my exes, and I told her that I wasn't.  In my case at least, they were exes for a reason, and I didn't really desire any friendship with them at all.

She took this personally for some reason and told me that I was never a true friend, since a true friend would stop at nothing to maintain a friendship with friends.  I told her that sometimes friendships had to end because of one reason or another.  This only made her madder, and it definitely ruined the date.

I'm really glad that she never considered me a friend.  She might have organized some sort of elephant-donkey-circus-parade to show up at my front door to win me back.


  1. ... Or she would have bought you a truck. Don't let this one go!

  2. I totally agree with you. It is next to impossible to be 'true' friends with an ex. I'm friendly with all of mine, but hanging out and 'kickin it' with them is out of the question.

  3. Man, where do I sign up to get an elephant-donkey-circus-parade?

    True, she is insane, but I always get giant red flags when a guy completely dislikes/hates his exes. Talking shit about an ex is even worse.
    Not implying you are on the extreme side, and maybe you just really do just date awful people.

  4. I'm best friends with two of my exes because enough time has passed that we got over the stupid shit we did to one another when we were young. (I dated both when I was a teenager.) The rest...they're exes for a reason. I agree with nomatophobia in that someone who completely hates all of his/her exes throws up a red flag, but this girl was also apeshit insane for not respecting her exboyfriend's desire to get far, far away from her.

  5. @ nomato
    He wasn't shit talking or hating on his exes. He said that he wasn't friends with them.

  6. Most times, you have to grow apart before you can regroup as friends. I've been friends with an ex or two in my time...but generally speaking, once it's over, it's over. Deep down, she is clinging to some fantasy-hope that she will get back with this guy.
    Would she do this IF she was married? or in another serious relationship at the time? I doubt it..and if she did, it wouldn't bode well with her current squeeze, I'm sure.

  7. I wiill never understand the "being friends with my ex's" thing...

    both of my roommates are guys, and they defend it to the death, but personally I just htink its weird. They are ex's for a reason.

    but I guess I am one of those people who really tries to make a relationship work, so when they end, they end for a big reason, and things never really go back to a place where we can be friends..

    although, I am civil to all of my ex's, I never talk shit about them, and if I bumb into them in public I am perfectly friendly with them... I just don't want to hang out with them.

  8. dude, you want to be in a donkey show? like the ones in Mexico? god, that is even worse than the pedo on here who dates his coworkers 12 year old kids..then brags about being their counselor or something.

  9. 10:33 - I'm guessing you're talking about TheGripester? Yeah, that guy is a freak-show. I think he's the one who raped and murdered that Chelsea King girl in SD County.


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