Who Dares Drop a Fork?

Submitted by John:

Tanya was a friend of mine from way back, we lost touch, then thanks to the Internet, fell back into regular communication.  She lived a short ride away, and after hitting pleasantries back and forth and insanely flirting for a month or so, we decided to meet up.

Her idea was to walk around the downtown area of her town, we'd find a place to have lunch, and take it from there.

We found a nice sit-down place, and things seemed okay, but she seemed really nervous, as if she was expecting to receive a phone call with bad news at any second.

At one point, I forgot how it happened, but I reached across the table and knocked my fork to the floor.

Holy god she went berserk.  She started trembling and asked me what the hell I was doing.  I told her that it was just an accident and that it wasn't any trouble to get a new fork.  Then she asked me what I was trying to tell her.  She asked me if I thought that there was something wrong with her.  I didn't at first, but now I wasn't so sure.

She put her hand up to her eyes and covered them.  Then she waved her hands around and stuttered.  I asked, "Are you okay?"

She told me that I kept digging the hole deeper and that my inability to shut up was ruining the date.

Hoping to defuse the situation, I stood up and told her that I was going to go grab a new fork.

"What the fuck are you doing?" she hissed at me, "Sit the fuck down!"

I ignored her and grabbed a new fork.  When I made it back to the table, she had her coat on, and left without a word.

The server delivered our food a few moments later.  I ate mine and had hers boxed up to go.  I'm not sure what I did to set her off, but man, am I glad that I found out early that she's a psycho.


  1. I...I can't even BEGIN to name a scenario which might have been going on inside her head that would make her flip her shit like that.

  2. It sounds to me like she has a social anxiety disorder. She was nervous to see you, probably felt insecure and immediately went into a panic attack the more you kept asking her what was wrong.

  3. Sounds like anxiety got the best of the poor girl.

  4. I think this is something more than anxiety. Thinking about it, her reaction to the "fork incident" sounds like something obsessive stalkers do, only flipped: "If he drops the fork, then he secretly hates me."

  5. Eh, it happens.

  6. Anxiety, perhaps. Crack, a ring a ding ding.

  7. she did seem like a pshyco, but I'm sure there's more to the story...

  8. Maybe there was someone like an old boyfriend or a camera crew present, and she wanted everything to be perfect. The fork dropping was an un-perfect thing, and she thought the ex/camera crew would think she was going out with a moron. When you got up to get a new fork, she freaked out even more because then it would seem like she was alone and/or not having fun. The ex/camera crew would have LOVED that, let me tell you. So she took charge and dumped you so that she would look good in the ex/camera crew's eyes.

    That's the only thing I can come up with, and even that is kind of twisted.

  9. My God, Amanda, I think you have just invented the only possibly scenario where this lady isn't having a full-blown BPD episode.

    And even in this case, she is *still* sorta crazy.

  10. My guess is that dropping the fork was the secret action, kind of like in peewee's play house, but instead of happy exclamations, you had to go insane.

  11. I think dropping a fork must be a gang initiation signal. Like, if a gang member has his brights on and you flash your headlights to let him know, that means he has to kill you? Probably anyone who drops a fork in that restaurant has to be killed by the newest gang member running the restaurant, who would be the bus boy, and the bus boy of course would ALSO be the best person to get a new fork from. Thus, her steadily increasing fear. You're lucky you're still alive.

  12. When I was in high school a long long time ago, one of the tricks the fellas would use is to drop a fork to try to get a peek up the skirt while bending under the table to pick up the fork.

  13. Well, you knocked the fork off of the table. Maybe she thought you were telling her to "Fork off,"

  14. I'm saying OCD or anxiety.

  15. That's a pretty common thing in the dating world, don't even know why it was accepte.. wait what?! oO That girl was crazy.

  16. I think that she did some internet research on you. she found that you were the local 'fork killer' and when you dropped the fork she thought you were making your move.

    dude, why do you have to kill people with a fork? its so uncool. at least use a spoon, more of a challenge there.

  17. ROFLMAO!

    Brilliant. I can't even compete with these comments. Being the devil's advocate to everything, I feel that all of these are a possibility. Kind of like "Sliders" but the fat kid from "Stand By Me" never grew less awkward or less weighty.

  18. he knew her from way back etc etc and never got a hint this might happen.?hard to believe


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