Someone's in the Kitchen with a Bad Chef

Submitted by Justin:

Mia and I had met briefly once before for a pretty quick after work date, and despite it being a little rushed, we both had a nice time.  To make up for the rushed first date, she invited me to her place for some home cooking.

It smelled great when I walked in, and I was honestly looking forward to it.  There was a salad, stuffed potatoes, and a casserole.  She was still working on the casserole when I walked in.  She was happy to see me, but was understandably sidetracked.

The casserole was finally ready after a little while and we sat down to eat.  The salad was great, and I went for some of the casserole.

The pasta was tough, and even sometimes crunchy.  It tasted like it had hardly been cooked at all.

She asked me how it was.  My mouth was full so I nodded, but that didn't seem good enough for her.  She tried a huge forkful herself, made a strange, twisted face, and ripped my plate away.

She said, "I wanted it to be perfect!  I wanted it to be perfect!"

She put on boiling water and dumped the entire contents of our plates into the pot.  I still had salad on my plate, and a stuffed potato.  I told her, "Don't worry about it.  I think you might be making it worse."

She turned to me and said, "I followed that recipe to the letter!  You don't tell me how to cook!  It's going to come out right!"

The kitchen stopped smelling good, and all of the contents of the boiling pot smelled a little strange.  She started grabbing other things.  "Here!  I'll make sure it cooks!"

It was when she had decided to pour flour in that I stood up to go.

"You don't go!  You don't go!" she shouted.  Then she said, "Shit!  I forgot the baked macaroni!"

All this time, she had been baking something on the oven, and it was now burnt beyond recognition.  I offered to stay to help her clean up, but she insisted that I do nothing.  She really wanted to make me dinner, but it was getting hard to breathe in there, so I opened a few windows and slipped out.

She called me up as I was in my car to ask me where I was.  I told her that the whole situation was making me uncomfortable and that I would talk to her later.  She yelled and yelled, but I was already on my way out of there.  I had offered to help, but didn't want to deal with the hysterics.

Fun Pasta Facts!  (from the National Pasta Association.  Yes, apparently, there is one.)


  1. If she wanted a dinner to be perfect, then she shouldn't have made a casserole at all.

    Who says, "I had such a romantic casserole dinner last night"?

  2. Awh cmon,

    she probably tried so hard to impress you but failed miserably and so she got upset.

  3. She should have just made a chicken pot pie.

  4. Agreed. You acted like an ass. Sometimes you have to do things that you do not want to do to be in a relationship.

  5. Chef Boyareyouadick says you really should have stuck around. Granted this chick had no idea what she was doing but after she completely wrecked the whole thing for good you could have called out for pizza and laughed about the evening together. Way to be a dick and run away while she was trying to make things better.

    PS. Casseroles are SO romantic....it's all about the layers baby ;)

  6. Wait the guy tried to help she wouldn't let him and pretty much ordered him to stay. That girls was a nut job and he did the right thing by leaving. If she had a sense of humor and wasn't so uptight they could have said oh well let's get pizza, but I don't think that girl would have done that.

  7. I tend to agree with 12:55. I'm not saying the girl was a full-blown psycho; I know how it can be when you want something to be as close to perfection as possible, and EVERYTHING goes wrong. The avalanche effect can bring on an anxiety attack, and at that point, there's usually no turning back. It does suck that she couldn't laugh about the situation, but I don't think the OP was a super-dick about this one. He was uncomfortable, so he left. Should have been a bit nicer about it, but *shrug* that's what makes this a bad date.

  8. I wonder what her story of the date would be...

    "Dinner was a nightmare; the food wasn't even cooked, and I was mortified! I tried one last effort to make things better and finish cooking the meal, but my date took off running out the door. I didn't bother ever calling him again."

  9. I just >can't< get on board with the hate for OP. As I understand it, reasons he's a jerk are:
    She's trying hard to impress him(uhh...casserole?)
    She's a perfectionist (pasta-based casserole *plus* mac 'n cheese?)
    You have to put up with a screaming harpy serving you crap out of a dusty 1950's MaCall's magazine on a second date as the price of a relationship? Does she have a gold-plated vaginia or do y'all just have mom fetishes?

  10. sorry to say, but i think he is a a-hole.

    a. why would he say the food is good if he didnt like it at all?

    b. he just slipped out? WTF! Just say goodbye if u think this is not going to work out.

  11. " I told her, "Don't worry about it. I think you might be making it worse." "

    That in itself makes him a dick. what a way to set the girl off then telling her how she is making a bad thing worse.

  12. I gotta side with Justin here. If this went down as described, he was a good sport the entire time while this girl degenerated into a spastic lunatic. I'm sorry, but once she dumps the casserole into a pot of boiling water and then adds flour, you're past the point of no return. There's no ordering pizza and laughing about it. There's only awkwardly munching a soggy, floury ex-casserole while your date stares at you with crazy eyes or getting the fuck out of dodge. I think our friend made the absolute correct decision here. Well played, sir.

  13. You sir, are a moron. Every woman with intentions to please her man, wants to prepare a homecooked meal. The more perfect she desires it, the more highly she rates you on her attractiveness scle. Of course she freaked, her perfect evening was breaking apart before her very eyes. Later in life, you will find yourself at the perfect dinner party, I promise, It will not be her first, and she will still be freaking out in the background. You are asshole to the greatest degree. Call her back and let her try again, this time will be much better.

  14. ^Judging by your response, you sir are probably a panzy-ass doormat. Sensible women drop your ass, but ones who like to dominate will actually keep you around for a bit longer.

    She botched the dinner. Forgivable.

    She then lost her composure, became manic, and went into denial.

    Wonder how she handles some of the bigger life challenges?

    Flip the roles, how many women would stick around to weather this storm?

  15. @ anon 4:30

    a. When is it considered being an a-hole for being polite about the casserole's taste?

    b. He didn't just slip out. He tried to leave earlier in an open way, but she freaked out
    -"You don't go! You don't go!"-
    and later refused any help.

  16. The OP probably could have salvaged the evening if he had wanted to, but meh, if the woman is freaking out the was it sounds than I probably would have got out of there pretty fast too.

  17. 3:38, there is no excuse for stupidity. you would be a perfect example for the smithsonian exhibit on the subject.

  18. ...There's a Smithsonian exhibit on stupidity? Really? They don't have better, more interesting things to make exhibits out of these days?

  19. Apparently kids aren't into things like "science" or "history" these days.

  20. Or else their parents aren't. I still remember overhearing this at the Natural History Museum last year:

    Midwestern kid: "Mom! Can we go to Evolution Theatre?"

    Midwestern mom: "*Sniff* No. I don't want to see how we 'evolved'."

  21. What an awkward situation! I feel bad for both of them. I can't believe she dumped the salad and potato back in to the pot! She seemed a little nutty. I don't blame the OP, strange situation.

  22. you shoulda bailed when you realized that she can't even tell when noodles are done... even my husband, who reminds me of a two year old when cooking, knows how to make pasta. be glad you got out, you'd end up with a serious case of food poisoning if you dated her.

  23. Dude. First off, is English her second language? I ask because she was shouting, "You don't go! You don't go!" I don't know.

    @Fizziks: What's wrong with a nice casserole? I'm not real clear on what a casserole is and I'm too lazy to wiki it, but meh, you make what you know. I can't cook at all! Which is why I don't cook for people. At all! Yet. Someday I will. I love that you're a foodie and know your stuff but some people suck in the kitchen.

    I think him saying "you're making it worse" was ok because she was spiraling out of control and sometimes an outside firm voice of reason is needed to slow it down. Since it didn't, it's best to get out. Without meaning to, the guy and the situation and expectation is causing anxiety. Remove what you can and deal with the rest later.


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