The President's Cabinets

Submitted by Joan:

Roland took me out to a nice Italian restaurant. He insisted on paying for everything, and I was very grateful. He was a smooth talker and I ate up everything he said. This was a guy I really wanted to like, and he had a lot of positive qualities.

He bragged about how the business he started himself hardly required any upkeep on his end. I was impressed by this, but also a bit curious: his business was the designing, creation, and installation of kitchen cabinets. How could that not require much effort?

He said, "I'm the big boss. My employees do all the work."

The date went fine, and nothing else seemed out of the ordinary. When I made it home, I looked up his business online. There it was, just as he said, but something was very odd. The president of the company, who he said he was, seemed to be someone else, albeit with the same last name. Roland was listed as, "Executive Assistant Vice President of Logistical Analytic Systems." A strand title for the head of a company to have, wouldn't you say?

I did a bit more research and checked out the link on company history. It was actually started by his grandfather in the 1950s, and now his brother, not himself, was running it.  He seemed to be relegated to a lessor role than that which he had claimed.  He didn't even start the company, and he made a big deal all about starting it!

I figured that I might give him the benefit of the doubt with one more date.  The second time, he was all up on how his workweek went, "He came to me, the head of the company," and "Being the head of the company, I was asked the questions," etc.

I asked him if he had a business card.  He said he didn't have one on him.  I asked him if I could drop by where he worked sometime and he became very defensive at once.  Something weird was up with this guy.

The next week, I called up his cabinet company and asked to speak to the "Executive Assistant Vice President of Logistical Analytic Systems," and the guy on the phone asked me if I was serious.  I told him I was, and he said, "Okay, but... he's... he's not really... well, okay, I'll give you his voicemail."

Roland's voicemail was, "Heeeeeeeeeey!" >BEEP<.  I had nothing to say, so I hung up.  Something about the whole situation gave me a bad feeling, so I ended things shortly thereafter.  Since I've revisited the website, his name and title have been stricken from it.  But the company is still in business.  Weird.

Fake presidents?
Learn Something: Yesteryear Cabinets of Curiosities.


  1. Again: not a bad date. That actually sounded like a pretty good date, with the exception that he stretched his position a bit too far (I can imagine why though, seeing as him not being the boss is probably quite a personal issue). If you really liked him you could have confronted him properly or just let it slide until you had something serious - no need to sniff around and then write stories about him..

  2. Seriously? I've had worse dates mixed in with my fruit salad. So he fudged a little on his title. Agreed that could have been a red flag for other issues, but the guy did buy dinner and was quite charming. I think you ditched this one too early OP. Besides, you could have gotten some sweet Logistical Analytic Systems cabinets out of the deal and I hear those are pretty hard to come by.

  3. Fuck the naysayers. Something smelled fishy, you dug a bit, and figured it out, and caught him in a web of lies. A bad date, and also a nice dodge!

  4. Brutal reality is that in the age of the Internet people can fact check rather easily. If the guy told the truth, i.e., he was independently wealthy because others in his family had bought him out, it wouldn't be so bad, unless it had to admit he did nothing all day long.

  5. It did seem pretty weird, but you should've just asked him directly, it could've been as simple as him trying to impress you.

  6. You're intelligent, and handled it well. Good for you. More people should be careful like this.

  7. WTF srsly? Anon @ 2:59PM - "he probably wouldve' tried to rape you" -do you live in a paranoid world where every douchebag who lies is a potential rapist? Get yourself some help. I hope you were kidding.

  8. He was, welcome to sarcasm.

  9. What was really up with this guy? What was the whole story? I need closure, OP...

  10. If a guy lies from the start, whatever the reason behind it, means he's not beyond lying for other instances. clip this compulsive liar while you still can. so, he's charming... the charm would wear off once ya'll were together, the thing to base a relationship is personality and truth. you don't want a guy who lies about something as simple as an occupation, he's probably accustomed to lying about all sorts of things.

  11. Yeah, so what if he was charming? Most salesman/douchebags are. Charming liars. They can sell you anything, even themselves, but don't read the fine print cuz 10 to 1 you wont like what you see.

  12. Ya, he may have embellished or flat out lied. You however were cowardly. If you have a concern or question, then just bring it up. What is the worst that could happen?

    It does sound like the dude was a douche and you may be one of the many girls that fall for the douche everytime, so that could also be it. However if that was your lone issue with him, then you should have said something.

  13. "I figured that I might give him the benefit of the doubt with one more date..."

    Yeah. It was here where I stopped having sympathy.

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