Submitted by Joel:
Sara was a talker. She was outgoing, tall, and really good at making conversation. I met her online and met up after a couple weeks.
At the bar, she kicked back a few and began going on about her ex-boyfriends. One of them couldn't get off unless she was tied down. Another one put on makeup to pretend to be a black man. Another one liked dressing up like a dinosaur.
Through her descriptions of these guys, I discovered that the one who liked dressing up like a dinosaur was someone I knew from work.
I asked her if the guys who pulled this stuff in the bedroom would be glad to know that she was spilling it all. She said that she was no longer bound to keep their secrets, since they weren't in a committed relationship any longer.
I'm glad she got that out of the way before I told her anything.
At work the next week, whenever I'd see the guy, I couldn't get the Jurassic Park t-rex roar out of my head.
Eh, she didn't give names. You had to figure out who she was talking about. And this isn't just these guy's business; it's part of her life and hence a story about *herself* she's entitled to tell.
ReplyDeleteThe real message here was that she'll do absolutely *anything* in bed. You let your fear of being judged in the future by strangers that wouldn't even know your name eclipse that.
As a dinosaur, he was an Alyckalottapuss.
ReplyDeleteYou missed out Jurassically, stoop!
I think it was her way of telling you "I'm into anal."
ReplyDeleteYou find a girl who is honest and game for ANYTHING (even getting humped by a stegosaurus) and you dump her. That's pretty silly. Girls always talk. If you want somebody to keep your diaper fetish a secret you'd better get married first...
ReplyDeleteYou should tell the guy you work with his ex girlfriend is telling the world about his dino love. Not all girls are like that, believe me.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of you guys, chick was down for ANYTHING and you let her go! So much for that "wrestling in a kiddy pool of navy beans" fantasy you had.
ReplyDeleteyou really dodged the bullet with this one, you almost hooked up with a kinky little minx who is into anything. Lucky you.
ReplyDeleteYou laugh at T-Rex, that dude got laid. In fact, everybody except you is having grrrrrrreat sex. RAWR!!!!
ReplyDeletesounds like Pornosaurus Rex
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he played it with the little T-rex arms and all.
ReplyDelete"My arms are too tiny! You must relieve me or I'll go extinct!"
ReplyDeleteYou dodged a silver bullet!...one that would be vibrating on her clit as she blew you. Too bad!
She didn't name names, sorry you live in a one-horse town, but she was relating herself and experience not giving up anything.
We've all done things in the bedroom to get each other off that might be different from others. But hey, it's two or three or seven consensual adults! This is America! Fuck yeah! Not the United Republic of Pussystan.
http://fox.naurunappula.com/nn/0/534/445/o_508451.jpg