Why Doesn't This Guy Score More Often?

Submitted by Jasmine:

Don and I arranged to meet each other at a clock in the middle of a local town's main square.  He showed up looking as if he had woken up three minutes before meeting me.  The first words out of his mouth were, "Do you want to get donuts?"

We went and got donuts.  It was early afternoon on a Saturday.  I tried to get him to talk, but he said, "Donuts first."  Okay then.  He ate his three donuts and had a healthy amount of powdered sugar all around his mouth.  I pointed it out to him and he wiped it with his sleeve, leaving streaky powdered sugar all over his face.  I pointed that out to him and he shrugged and licked around his mouth.

"Want to see a movie?" I asked him, since he wasn't too forthcoming with ideas... or words.

He said, "Want to come back to my place to watch one?"

"No.  We can go get coffee or something.  I just want to talk."

"About what?"

"Anything.  Don't you want to get to know me?  I want to get to know you."  Sort of.  Probably not.

He said, "Come back to my place and we can talk."

"We can talk while we're out, too, can't we?"

"Then we can screw."


Yes, he said it.  Then I realized what was going on.  Everything fit.  The guy was drunker than anything.  Or high.  Or something.

I offered to call him a cab or taxi, but he kept asking me back to his place.  I wasn't about to follow him anywhere, but I did call a taxi and sent him back to his house.  I never heard from him again.


  1. dont be such a prude

  2. He could have powdered your donut.

  3. Not wanting to screw someone you don't know well yet doesn't make you a prude.
    I think you probably didn't hear from him because he didn't even know he went out on a date, too drunk or too stoned to remember you.

  4. No, I disagree. He wasn't drunk or high. He's just your regular basic obnoxious self-centered guy who is caught in the Ultimate Guy Trap, the one between boyhood and manhood. He still hates girls but suddenly wants to have sex with them, and hasn't figured out how to resolve the problem yet.

  5. So you went on a date with Jack Black?

  6. Sounds like he was glazed and confused.

  7. This is Don here. In my defence, she was pretty hot and she agreed to my suggestion to go get donuts. Doesn't she know that most guys (at least the ones I drink and smoke weed with) equate sex with donuts? If she wants to get donuts with me, then she must want to screw. I did offer to let her watch a movie at my place, so I was still trying to be a gentleman. It would have been a porno though. Anyone else want donuts? Or want to screw?

  8. Don, I'll get donuts with you, and we can screw. We can put powdered sugar on our cocks and take turns licking off the ... wait, you're into guys too, right?

  9. anon 10:04, what a lovely notion, I powdered my ass, and am waiting for you in the coffee shop.
    your friend.

  10. The Internet is killing dating. Get out and meet someone in real life, kids.


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