No Sex After Marriage, Either

Submitted by Daniel:

Susan and I had our first date over coffee.  Better that way, since there's less of an obligation than sitting through a whole meal, and if the chemistry isn't there early on, better to not waste anyone's time, right?

My radar was up the instant she said, "I don't believe in sex before marriage," which was the second thing she said, after, "Nice to meet you."

I explained to her that I was willing to take things as they came, even though, I have to be honest, I'm not someone who really has ever minded sex before marriage.  Maybe we'd become friends.  Who knows, right?

But then she WOULDN'T SHUT UP about it.  From the instant she sat down, she went into what sounded like a rehearsed statement all about why sex before marriage was bad for women, bad for self-esteem, bad for her body, bad for the environment, bad for America, bad for puppies... all I wanted to do was sit down over coffee with someone and get to know her.  I already said that it wasn't a problem.  If it ended up being one, then I'd be sure to let her know.  I didn't need to be soapboxed.

"Well, statistics say..." she went on and on.

Finally, I cut in, "I'm really okay with you not having sex before marriage."

She replied, "That's fine, but you need to know why I feel that way."

"No I don't!  Just telling me you're not into it is enough!  Can we talk about something else?"

"I want to talk about this.  I'm almost done."


She wasn't almost done.  She went on for another ten minutes, but I was finally able to pry her away from the topic.  For someone who wasn't at all into sex, that's all that she talked about for most of the "date" so far.  By the time we were finally talking about something else, I wouldn't have had sex with her even if she suddenly changed her mind.  It was that much of a turn-off.

We finally made it onto the topic of movies, sports, hobbies... and... wait... there's a trend here... we'd talk about movies and she'd say, "I like them all, except for the ones with sex.  I don't do sex."  We'd talk about sports, and she'd say, "I like all sports, but too many athletes have illicit sex," and when we talked about hobbies, she... you guessed it, talked about how none of her hobbies included anything of a sexual nature.

Let me state for the record that if you're not into sex before marriage, then that's cool.  It's your body, it's your life.  But don't try to make every situation into an opportunity to proselytize.

The kicker was at the end of our not-short-enough meeting, which I was sure to bring to a close far quicker than I had originally intended.  She asked me, "So, do you think you're going to reconsider having sex before marriage?"

I said, "With you?  Absolutely."

Yes, I'm an asshole.  Yes, it felt good to say.  No, she didn't take it badly at all.  She laughed and said, "You got that right."


  1. Sounds like you almost raped her...

  2. I bet she can suck a basketball through a hosepipe.

  3. Tiger Woods ruined if for all of us!

  4. The feminist in me wants to cheer her on for sticking to her beliefs.

    The therapist in me thinks she was probably the victim of molestation or sexual assault, possibly as a child, and that's why she's built such a high wall around herself.

    The troll in me agrees with Joe and thinks the girl has probably seen her fair share of dicks and has only recently given up her whorin' ways.

  5. Nikki, I agree with your third paragraph. The fact that she talks about it so much would lead me to believe that this is a new fad for her.

  6. I think I met her at a gang bang once.

  7. Yo Schmikey! remember me? we cross swords at that gang bang....man that was awkward wasn't it?

    anyway see ya later!

  8. Well written. Thank you for expressing the other side of the conversation that you did not have a chance to participate in. Funny.

    So sad that she has become damaged goods. It appears that someone disrespected her in the past but maybe she should learn to wait to the third date to act like freak.

  9. She needs a good deep dicking.

  10. I gave you 5 stars simply for using the word "proselytize."

  11. This -- this is why we date. She made it too easy for you, really. Most of us don't see the crazy until a few weeks/months/years into the damn thing. Best I've read on here for awhile!

  12. Nikki, the troll in you is adorable.

  13. she probably had a bad reputation and was trying to clean up


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