2/27/2010

"We Had Met on the Internet, After All"

Submitted by Daniel:

Tracy and I messaged each other back and forth on an online dating service, then we decided to meet in person at a park.

That ended up being a big mistake.  She showed up with a small case, larger than a standard purse.  I didn't mention anything about it, and I figured that maybe she had some sort of errand before or after our date that concerned it, and that it wasn't any of my business.

After we had been pleasantly chatting for a little while, she asked me, "Anything dark or secret that I should know about you?"

I thought about it, first about how strange a question it was, but we had met on the Internet, after all.  I told her that I couldn't think of anything too much worse than the standard, "I had tried drugs a few times," etc.

She nodded, said, "Okay," and pulled out her case, which was full of papers.  Photocopies.  Articles.  With my name on them.  She had brought along dozens of articles about a guy with my name who owed child support, was wanted for larceny in three states, and was overall sort of an opposite of who I was.  Our only similarity was our name.  But I wasn't this guy.

She said, self-righteously, "I Googled you.  Care to explain these?"

I said, "Yeah.  It's a different guy with my name."  I looked down at one of the articles.  "I've never even been to Maryland, where this guy is wanted for larceny."

Then, I asked her, "Are you nuts or something?"

"This is you!" she said, increasingly agitated, "This is you!"

Well, at least one of us was sure about the other.  I politely excused myself and left.  It was the most uncomfortable, wacky, and silliest thing that had ever happened to me, all at once.

14 comments:

  1. Oh my....that had to be really weird. Glad you left.

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  2. She forgot to bring her attorney. 5 stars.

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  3. It was him!! It was him!! He couldn't explain any of my discoveries!! He was a shifty, dishonest SOB!!

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  4. Oh my god. 5 stars.

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  5. This totally reminds me of a scene from Amazon Women on the Moon, where a girl is able to access her date's entire background (including dating history, complete with comments made by other women he'd dated).

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  6. Hahaha great story, great fucking story.

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  7. that. was. awesome. !!!

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  8. that has to be the sweetest bad date ever.

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  9. Is your name Glenn Beck by chance? Were the articles about the rape and murder of a young girl in 1990?

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  10. this site should be required reading for people who use internet dating sites. good god what a nutjob.

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  11. I like how she still chose to go on the date though she was convinced he was this dude.

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  12. that was you.

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  13. If she was convinced it was really you, why would she continue the date...

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  14. It's stories like this that make me glad I have a unique name. OTOH, I have no plausible deniability. :)

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