Insanity To Go

Submitted by Jeff:

I met Rita online. Her profile was interesting and she was quite attractive. We met up for a drink at a local watering hole and really hit it off. We laughed, had lots to talk about, and had similar interests.

When it was time to take her home, we ended up making out in my SUV. It progressed to the point that... let's just say I took care of her needs... and she promised to return the favor on our subsequent date.

Our next date was scheduled a couple of days later.  I had planned to pick her up at her place after work. She told me to pick out a movie and a place to eat around her neighborhood and to call her before I left the office.

I left my job at a local newspaper with a movie listings tear sheet from that day's paper. Not knowing her neighborhood, I had no idea about the restaurants in her area or which theater was closest. When I called her, it was from my cell phone stating that I was on my way. She scolded me for not calling from work before I left, like I was told to do. My bad.

I parked right at the front doors to her building and buzzed up. She said she'd be right down. I waited patiently in my car for about 10 minutes before she finally entered my truck.

She seemed a bit cold and asked what restaurant I had picked out. I told her that I wasn't familiar with the area, so I would leave it up to her.  She said, "Hmph... okaaaaay... then what movie are we going to see?"

I pulled out the listings and asked her which theater was closest (so I could decide on a movie).  She looked at me in disbelief and said, "So you didn't plan anything for this date?"

I bit my tongue and said that if we drove down to an area that I was familiar with, I'd be able to pick out the place to eat and the movie.  She said okay to this.

Damn... now, we had to drive about 15 minutes from there to an area I knew and on the way there, she said, "You know, you didn't even open the door for me when I arrived."

I replied, "You didn't come downstairs for what, 20 minutes?"

She said, "That's because you didn't call me from work like you were supposed to!"  Red flags were beginning to magically appear before my eyes.

We got to the restaurant and made idle chit chat, but there was a definite tension in the air and I was beginning to regret this date. After about 10 minutes, we hadn't been acknowledged by anybody and I began to look around the place from my seat wondering if we were going to get served.

Rita looked at me and said, "What's your problem? Why do you keep looking around and not at me?  If you didn't want to go on another date, you could have just said so."

I replied, "If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be here." Trust me, I had snappier things to say, but I let it go and started thinking less about the date and more about the après-date activity which was promised the first date... but that seemed less likely to happen unless this turned around.

I made more small talk but it was received with cold, short answers. We finally were served and when the food arrived, she sat there not touching any of it. I said "If you aren't having fun on the date, you should at least enjoy the food."

She retorted, "Why are you being such an asshole?"

I said, "Listen, if you have internal demons you have to deal with, you should really do so before going out on dates!"

She started crying!  Tears streamed down her face, but thankfully no blubbering.  I continued to eat, not saying anything to her and she just sat there with eyes welled up.  It was very awkward and we sat in silence until I finished my meal.

When the waitress came over, I asked for the bill and she brought it and then Rita finally started to dig into her food. She looked up and said, "I'm not done yet."

I said, "That's fine."  She purposely took small bite after small bite and sipped her beverage slowly, giving me a sly grin, knowing that it was bugging the hell out of me.

Finally, I told her that I had to pay using debit and went up to the waitress station.  I paid and then I walked right out and went home. Yep, I left her there and felt damn good about it, thank you very much. Sure, I could have stuck her with the bill too, but I think she'd need all her money to spend on therapy.


  1. Yeah, Rita definitely had a very bad date here!

  2. I'd love to read this from Rita's point of view. Then we'd get to hear about the jerk who didn't bother to make plans, berated her at dinner, made her cry, and ditched her without a ride.

  3. So, I am not saying that she couldn't have handled this better, but I think there are some things that you didn't realize

    1) the issue with you calling after work and waiting in the car was likely that she was still getting ready. She was counting on you to let her know how much time she had. That she was down in 10 min (which you later inflate to 20 to make her feel bad) doesn't seem like very long if she was putting last touches on her makeup and such.

    2)When she asked about what restaraunts and movies, she was probably looking for a sign that this date was about more to you than the promised activties. And you gave her no reason to think that you weren't just killing time until your blowjob. I hate when my fellow chicks whine about doors being held open, but to me this shows that she was refelcting on how not-really-about-the date you were acting.

    3) After that rocky start, the only two things that you report saying to her are very snide. She was running (only 10 minutes!) late, she was questioning your interest in this date, but from her point of view, you showed up without much warning, said, "I dunno" to all questions about what you two were going to do, then with only 10 min of sitting (what is your issue with waiting only 10 min!) your body language is telling her your attention is completely elsewhere. Then you snap at her twice. Yikes.

  4. if everything your saying about her is true, than yeah she sounds crazy, but even that doesn't entitle you to do those things. She was never outright rude or hostile to you.

    and, it absolutely sucks to get taken out on a date with someone who has made NO plan what-so-ever. I'm assuming you have a cell phone, or internet access, or friends with computers?? it takes a total of five minutes to find something to do. She was probably feeling like you didn't give a crap... which, lets face it, you probably didn't, you're a guy and she gave it up on the first date... what does she expect??

  5. Yep, Jeff gets an A-Hole pin attached to his forehead. He was looking forward to the returned-favor from the girl, but when she proves to be highly immature, and the likelihood of a delivered favor diminished, he ditches her. No doubt he saw that she was immature when he "took care of her needs" on the previous date.

    Both of you deserve what you got.

  6. She seems to be fixated on the thought he may have been fixated on the promised sexual favor.
    Point 1, she needed the time it took you to drive from work to her place in order to be ready for you. 10 minute wait is a absolute favor to anyone familiar with dating females.
    Point 2, you work for a newpaper, and claim no knowledge of the area? What? Afraid to ask around for some ideas of where to go?
    AS for the theatre selection, dude, this is the age of "teh interwebs" a simple search would reveal theatres, restaurants, attractions, rides, even local info on parks and recreation. You failed, then she burned you with the "make you wait", had you handled that like a man, she would have probably made good on her promise. As it stands, you left an attractive woman sitting in a restaurant across town, some random guy lucked up on your leftovers, and probably got grateful sex as a result. LOSER.

  7. Whatever, Jeff didn't do anything wrong. Why pick a movie & then find out she doesn't like it? He brought the bloody listings so they could find something together and wanted to let her pick the restaurant. Oooohhh what a jerk.

    Jeff, my guess is she went further on the first date than she intended. She had reconsidered 'taking care of your needs' as you put it, and was trying to sabotage the date to get out of it. If you'd realised you could have let her off the hook and told her she wasn't obligated to do anything, but it's not your fault you're not a mindreader.

  8. She wanted you to call her when you were leaving your office so she could finish blowing the guy that was still in her apartment. Since you called later, she had to finish him off, throw in some mouthwash, and tell him to wait 10 minutes after you leave before leaving, and locking the door behind him. This is risky because he may steal things, but since you called later, it's a risk she had to take.

    She wanted you to pick out a movie because she cannot make a decision for herself, and she gets stressed out when that amount of pressure is on her.

    She needed your constant attention at dinner because she's clingy. If you're not opening the door for her or constantly asking what she's thinking about, you could possibly be thinking about someone else, and where would that leave her? Life is about her, after all.

    She never planned on returning your blowjob. She got her vajay eaten, and she probably would have made you do it again before saying "Ooh, it's late, I don't have time to blow you tonight. Better luck next time!" Only to go home, and probably have sex with someone else.

    (What? Everyone else is speculating...)

  9. A lot of you are being rather unfair on the guy, he didn't know the area and had listings! all he needed was to know which was closest so they could go see a film, he had a couple of mini plans to ick from depending on the variables, it's always good to have options!

  10. You should have brought porn and a bag of cheetos.

  11. Jeff- you give men a bad name. Please stop dating. You are only making it hard for the rest of us. As does 12:28, 10:15, 10:33. I wish all of you would get vasectomies. I'd pay for them!

    7:49 is, however, a poet and completely correct.

  12. 1:07, you're a metrosexual, aren't you? Yarr.

  13. We know Jeff sucks at dating but that does not excuse the poor behavior by his date.

    Bottom line, this women was fighting you every step of the way. Women who like you help you. She didn't like you enough not to be a bitch on the 2nd Date. She could have kept her mouth shut and then after the date never answered your calls again.

    But look at it this way, be glad you were exposed to this side of her now rather than a few months in. That's assuming you wouldn't stick around to endure the beating dealt by her undesirable attitude. Those few months would have been wasted while you could have been dating a women with class and a positive attitude.

    Next time, put a little more effort in. Google Maps is your friend, Metromix or any other form of entertainment / restaurant guide.

  14. 'Woman' is a singular noun.
    'Women' is a plural noun.

  15. You can completely see the genders of the commentators - all the women thinking Jeff was in the wrong, all the men believing him to be in the right.

    I am a woman, and thank God for women like Rita. She makes girls like me look good.

    There were simple things she could have done...

    1) Said "I was expecting you to call from your work - I'm not ready yet. Do you want to come up and wait?" Or even "do you mind waiting downstairs for 10 mins?"

    2) If someone is waiting for me INSIDE THEIR VEHICLE I know to open my own door. That's the beauty of opposable thumbs.

    3) If you know the area better than your date, make suggestions, bitch.

    4) On a bad dinner date, eat quickly so you can leave. Being a twatsicle and prolonging the hell hurts everyone involved.

    If I was a guy, I would have left her there too. Maybe next time she'll be less of a self-centered princess and learn to just be thankful some poor unsuspecting shmo is willing to take her out.

  16. Hi Jeff, It's Charles. Why haven't you posted the fact that you are a gay man now? I'm pissed at you! No golden showers for you tonight!

  17. You ever thought that you didn't take care of her needs that night and she was too shy to to get out of it? Plus you're a homo!

  18. Jeff takes it in the pooper!

  19. Response to Comment: February 20, 2010 9:51 AM

    His wiener is big but ugly. Jeff, you really need to get circumcised. Love Charles xox


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