Honesty Is Brutal

Submitted by Zoe:

Stan seemed like quite the nice guy before we met and even during the first fifth of our date.  It was when I talked to him about work that he went crazy. 

He went on in excruciating detail about his coworkers.  He told me, "There's one who goes to the bathroom every half-hour on the half-hour.  It really pisses me off.  Then there's the one who constantly sniffs and sniffs and sniffs through her nose.  Use a fucking tissue!  Then there's the one who stinks like a carton of monkey shit.  You know what I mean?"

"No," I told him, then asked him why he stayed there.

He said, "I need to make money to take girls out on dates.  Is that a problem for you?"

Oh dear.  Flag on the play.  I told him that money was fine, but that I'd prefer him happy, if we were to end up together.  He said, "Yeah, let's hear you say that when I can't afford your pedicure or makeup set or whatever the fuck you're going to want.  Sorry if I'm blunt, but that's just how it goes.  I'm brutally honest.  I warned you, didn't I?  That I was brutally honest?"

I said, "Well, not all girls are the same."

He stared at me and repeated, "You didn't answer me.  Didn't I warn you that I was brutally honest?"

I defused the bomb with, "Yes.  You did.  I'm glad that you did.  I prefer honesty."

He was freaking me out so much that I ended the date early, called him up the next day, and told him that I was going to be taking a break from dating for a while.  I used his own words, "I'm just being brutally honest here.  I owe that to you," and he seemed to be placated.


  1. This story of a bad date nears perfection. The guy could've been dangerous. She got the hell away using his own shtick.

  2. I guess we all get jaded after having too many bad experiences, but man I hate it when guys lump all women into the gold digger category.

    That guy was a jerk. Good for you for getting away from him. Now he can go be unhappy by himself.

  3. I see it as a fair statement, You say you want happiness and love, but are you willing to sleep in your car to have it?

  4. Guys like Stan, who insist that all women are golddiggers, are either (1) only attracted to vain self-centered overgroomed women, in which case it is true that they had better be prepared to put up cash for endless pedicures forever, because that's what they want, or (2) trying to intimidate their dates into choosing from the bottom of the menus.

  5. The guy could've been dangerous? Uh, based on what? I mean, clearly he was a jerk, but reading a lot of the comments here, you'd think that every person who ever goes out on a date is about to get raped, murdered and chopped for parts. Not necessarily in that order.

    I mean, you do realize that while it's not impossible that a date goes bad in a dangerous way, the likelihood of that happening is really low.

  6. ^ I thought so too, until I got raped and chopped into bits.

  7. everytime someone gets raped and chopped to bits, a kitten dies.

  8. I thought it was "Every time God masturbates, a child kills a kitten."

  9. I was chopped to bits then raped

  10. I bought one of those "sham wow" choppers, and felt like I got raped.

  11. Hooker-Punching Salesguy2/22/2010 10:14 AM

    ^^Those are false advertising. You can only slap so many of your troubles away with the Slap Chop.

  12. ^ Especially if you're chopping things up while getting raped.


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