Abort, Retry, Fail

Submitted by Laura:

Tim was in my computer class.  He was quiet and never said much, which was refreshing in a school full of jocks, preppies, and screaming Twilight fans.  I struck up a conversation with him one day, and he asked me out to a movie.

He picked his nose during the entire two hours in the theater.  When he'd find a good one, he'd pull it out, inspect it, and flick it away, onto the floor.  I never imagined that he could find two hours worth of boogers up his nose, but two hours worth he certainly found.  I kept my hands in my lap, afraid that he'd reach for one.

When the film was over, I asked him how he liked it.

He stuck his finger in his mouth and said, "Gross," then asked me if I wanted to see something neat that he was working on.

We went to a nearby cafe and he pulled out his laptop.  He clicked on a program called, "School Simulation," and handed me the laptop.

I looked up at him.  "What do I do?"

He said that I should write in anything that I would say at school, like hello to a teacher or ask the answer to a math problem or greet a friend.

I typed in something like, "Hi, did you do the homework?" and hit enter.


He smiled at me.  I asked him what it meant.  He said that it was a fairly accurate representation of a conversation with the girls at our school.  He then asked me to try again, but I didn't, so he typed in, "Hi Jenny.  It is a lovely day, isn't it?"


He swiveled the computer to me and he asked me to type in a question to a teacher.  Reluctantly, I wrote, "What was the assignment?"


Tim said, "See?  Isn't it a great simulator?  That's exactly what it's like."

Hmmm.  No.


  1. Yep. That's basically how I remember junior high.

  2. Now that you see the caliber of guys in the dating pool at your school, maybe now you understand why so many of your peers prefer the fantasy world of Edward and Jacob. Did he breathe through his mouth too?

  3. ^ Eww! Mouth breathers are fat!

  4. You may have thought nose picking was funny, but it snot!

    Why you didn't boogie for that reason alone is beyond me!

  5. Guys DO get better, Laura...not that you could tell from this site, of course, but they do.

  6. high schoolers go home. i want to hear real date stories.

  7. I bet he cuts himself.

  8. The simulator is remarkably accurate, I'll give him that.

    Hopefully you thoroughly disinfected and showered when you got home, though.


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