You Get What You Pay For

Submitted by Kate:

Richard took me out to a tea place for our first date.  His online profile mentioned that he was into "traveling to foreign lands," "volunteering at animal shelters," and "the performing arts."

He called me a minute after our scheduled meeting time to tell me that he was caught in traffic and would be a few minutes late.  He showed up over a half-hour later and said that the subway was delayed.  I thought about mentioning that his previous excuse was "being caught in traffic," but I let it go.  He seemed to feel pretty bad about being late.

He then launched into a diatribe about how reliance on foreign workers would be the downfall of America.  "There's a reason that we pay them less," he said, "You get what you pay for, every time!"

I suggested that we get tea, and we did.  I ordered a chai, and he asked, "That some foreign tea?"  I took it as an opportunity to ask him about the foreign lands that he had claimed to like visiting.

"Canada, and Mexico once, on a dare," he told me, "A buddy of mine dared me to cross the border and fuck a Mexican stripper.  I was drunk and higher than a kite, so all we ended up doing was stumbling around a border town for a few hours, and got yelled at by a cop."

Hmm.  Okay.  What about "volunteering at animal shelters"?

"That?  Ha!  In high school we were forced to do ten hours of community service before graduating, just like they do in prison.  My cousin works at a shelter, so it was an easy in."

We were outside of the tea place and walking down the street when I finally engaged him about his purported interest in the "performing arts."

"I did stage crew for the fags in high school.  My guidance counselor suggested it, since her fag son was in drama club."  He then spat out a sizable loogie.

So it turns out that he hadn't lied about himself, technically... although the truth wasn't at all flattering.  After the date was over, I met up with some friends to detoxify from this guy... although it wasn't the last I'd hear from him.


  1. Hehe, weird guy. I wonder why he described himself online with those three activities if he isn't into any of them..

  2. Wow, sounds like a real lovely guy. Now you've got me curious about what happened after this date! Sounds like there's a much bigger story.

  3. I know! I want to know what happened when you heard from him again?

  4. I'm hoping to hear more about this guy, too. He sounds like a character.

  5. Wow. Asshole much? He makes himself out to be the perfect guy (at least in my mind) and ends up being just an overall horrible person. Please don't call him back, OP.

  6. Story seems way too over the top to be real unless the guy was on coke or bipolar. Even then it's unlikely.

  7. I always get a kick out of the occasional commenter who says something like "story seems way too over the top to be real..." Over the top? That guy sounds like half the republicans in Arizona!

  8. To anon 10:10
    He wouldnt have spit that booger if he was on coke, he would have swallowed it! As in "I dont want to waste any of this shit!"

  9. Seems to me that he may not have liked Kate and that was his "plan B"


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