Why Country Folk Shouldn't Date

Submitted by Rudy:

Julie, who I met online, and I went out to a Starbucks.  She ordered some hot Tazo tea thing and I had a frapp.  We sat down and she instantly swigged down some of her tea.

Her eyes bulged out, she put her hand to her mouth, and she spit the hot fluid all over the table and myself.

Then, she did it again.

Then, she grabbed my drink and sucked down nearly half of it.  This was all in the course of about ten seconds.

"What's wrong?  What's the problem?" I asked her.

Gasping, incredulous, she pointed at her tea.  "It's hot!" she said.

Joking, I asked her if she had ever had tea before, but she didn't like that question.  She made a face and went to the bathroom.

When she came out twenty or so minutes later, she told me that it was nice meeting me and that she had to go.

I asked her if she was serious, and she said that she was.  I couldn't believe it, but she at least let me walk her back to her car.  The rest of my frapp was delicious.


  1. "At least she let me walk her to her car" ? Was she from the hhwoods? Sounds like she didn't see the warning: "The delicious beverage you're about to enjoy is fahkin' hawt"

  2. She's a spitter...not a swallower!
    WIN on your part

  3. So you frapped that night then.

    *frap frap frap*

  4. You're a douche for referring to your drink not once, but twice, as a "frapp."

  5. You called it a "frapp." I hope bears eat you.

  6. It was probably the way you asked if she ever had tea before while she was drinking nervously and burning herself, being on a date and all. And when she ordered her "hot Tazo tea thing," she probably saw your snobbish attitude about that, too. You probably were exuding intense jerk, a-hole vibes, as they come across in your missive as well. Another case where the bad date is the writer.

  7. anon 1:15 and Carmen: Well done.


  8. [Anon 8:32], "she instantly swigged down some of her tea", no one does that, ever.. twice. Regardless of the the writer's supposed snobbish attitude or asshole vibes she swigged down her tea, spit it all over the table and the writer, then did it again. I would've loved to see that though, must've looked hilarious. "She at least let me walk her back to her car', haha, seriously dude grow a pair.

  9. "hot Tazo tea thing"

    Tea thing? Really? You don't understand basic tea that every coffee shop has?


    You're missing an E there. And some basic knowledge of drinks. I understand that she was pretty dumb, but how about yourself, frapp tea thing boy?

  10. Basic tea that every coffee shop has? Tazo is a brand of tea. If she even mentioned the name in the drink she could have ordered a Tazo Chai latte, or perhaps even a misto. The fact that Starbucks incorporates every characteristic of its drinks into its name can get confusing. Still though, dude, a "frapp"?

  11. In the southern U.S., if you order "tea" you get iced tea. It's remotely possible this young lady had moved recently and wasn't aware of the customs in her new home (or, had never been to a Starbucks before? less likely). But, after the first mouthful she must have thought, "mistake; that couldn't REALLY have been hot" and took another mouthful. That's just plain stupid, not country. Which, as we all know, you can't fix...


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