Fowl Play

Submitted by Ellen:

Kevin took me to a local amusement park.  He used to work there, so we got in for free.  He seemed normal, except for the fact that he made a big deal out of being a duck in a previous life.  He claimed to know this since he visited a psychic and also since ducks seemed to listen to him when he spoke.

He took me on a tunnel ride, and well aware of what happens inside of tunnel rides, I mentally prepared myself for whatever he might try.  He was cute, a bit of a goofball, and funny, so I didn't see any harm in a little bit of fun.

When it got dark, he leaned in all right, then poor guy started quacking.  Right in my face, soft and breathy, but quacking, and no mistake.

I asked him what he was doing but he didn't reply.  A couple more quacks and he went back to sitting there, silent.

He barely spoke to me for the rest of the date.  It was like he was one guy - somewhat charming, if not a little insane - when we first entered the tunnel, and when we emerged, he was like a quieter, more subdued, boring version of himself.

I asked him after some time if everything was all right, and he just shrugged.  I didn't push it any further, and the rest of the date went just like that.  We parted ways at the end, and I never heard from him ever again.


  1. "Rejected by a guy who thought he was a duck," isn't something I'd go telling just anybody. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  2. Chances are, he weighed the same as a duck, therefor a witch.

  3. You need to set up a second date. Go out to dinner... a fancy restaurant... and then order a nice dish of succulent duck. Make sure to eye him sensuously with every bite.

  4. lol @ 5:35

  5. Maybe he was expecting you to pull out some stale bread or something!

  6. To say the least, she ducked this psycho.

  7. That one was not a duck, sounds more like a turkey.

  8. Maybe he was smoking quack...

  9. "He seemed normal, except for the fact that he made a big deal out of being a duck in a previous life."

    The second part of that sentence completely negates the first part of that sentence. It should read:

    "Because he believed he was a duck in a previous life, he was a giant fucking lunatic. End of date."

  10. LOL @ 12:22 win!!!!!!!

  11. LOL @ 4:41!! He's a witch! He's a witch!

  12. Probably you were supposed to quack back at him. When you didn't, you missed your big chance. Or not.


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