Say it Loud

Submitted by Michael:

Betsy and I talked on the phone a few times before meeting up, and I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that she had the loudest voice in the world. First I thought that the volume was way up on my telephone, and then I thought that maybe my hearing had markedly improved. It was neither of these things. Betsy's voice was louder than a can of Raid in a microwave.

Maybe it was just over the phone. Maybe in person she'd be quieter.

Nope. In person she was so loud that I needed earmuffs. On our way to dinner, I asked her if she wouldn't mind speaking a bit softer. After all, I was sitting right next to her and was not across, you know, a stadium.

She said, "Oh. I'm too loud? Fine! I'll just shut up!" and she was quiet for the rest of the date. I tried to tell her that I didn't mean it to be mean, but she didn't seem to care or else was insane.  She barely said a word for the rest of the date.


  1. Was she was louder than a skeleton having a fit on a tin roof!

  2. Perchance she was louder than Tiger's mistresses in the prospect of 15 minutes of fame?

  3. Perhaps louder than the level of corruption in the Amanda Knox trial?

  4. The last half of that date doesn't sound so bad.


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