Never Date A Juggler

Submitted by Samantha:

Sean took me to a charming little crafts village for our first date.  We were inside of a store with a homemade glass section and he asked me if I wanted to see him juggle.

Without waiting for a response, he grabbed four small glass bottles from a shelf and started juggling them.

The shopkeeper noticed in a hurry and she yelled for him to stop.  Sean yelled back, "I know what I'm doing, you fat bitch."

She stared at us for a second and then said, "Get the hell out of my store."

Sean kept juggling.  She strode out from behind her counter towards us.  Sean replaced the bottles on the shelf and grabbed my arm, heading for the exit.

While yanking me out, Sean smashed into a coffee table and yelled, "Ow!  My fucking leg!  Motherfucker!"

"Get out of my store!"

Sean, limping, dragged me out of the store and out to the street.  The shopkeeper kept after us.  Sean dropped my arm and ran off on his own.  I froze where I was.  The shopkeeper screamed in my face and told me that I was never welcome in her store again.

I wasn't the one who juggled her stock, and I certainly wasn't the one who called her a nasty name, so I wasn't about to let her get away with blaming me.  She turned back to her store and I called after her, "Fat bitch."

She whirled around but I was already hoofing it down the road.

Sean, the coward, called me up about a half hour later.  He asked, "Did you deal with her for me?"

We met up and I asked him to bring me home.


  1. You immature douchenozzles sound perfect for each other. And next time some dude gets you banned from a store for life, why don't you consider calling a cab home instead of waiting for him to come crawling back to drive you there?

  2. I agree with Incredulous. The story ends with her asking him to take him home. Unlike other stories, it says nothing about her refusing future dates. I hear wedding bells!

  3. What were you expecting, a cookie? Most people would have told Sean he was being an ass. Some people would even have the empathy to feel embarrassed. You just want to play the victim.

    I sure hope you two don't breed.

  4. You're lucky the shop keeper didnt break your face. I can't believe you just stood there. Venom for the OP!

  5. Original Poster needs to call Jenny Craig herself.

  6. Wow, are you like, 12 years old?

  7. Enjoy!


  8. What are you both, 13?

    If you're capable, rearrange the following:





  9. Boo, 3:03, the video "isn't available." :(

  10. oh, yeah, they're gonna have lots of babies...starting next year...when they hit puberty...

    Calling names, running away...Samantha, did you honestly think you were going to get supportive comments from this story? You and your boyfriend are weiners.

  11. Go to You Tube,
    Type in" Big Fat Bitch Zack Brown

    and sit back and enjoy the song...it's very appropriate

  12. Wait a minute now, I can empathize with this person.

    If some shopkeeper were to get in my face for something I did not do, nor did anything to encourage, then I certainly would not take kindly to it. I would give that shopkeeper a piece of my mind. I absolutely hate it when people blame me for things I had no part in.

    Also to those who say she should have said something to him, re-read the story again. She stated the shopkeeper "noticed in a hurry". Quite probably she did not have time to voice her opinion.

    As for calling her a fat bitch, maybe not the most appropriate thing to say but definitely understandable. Why should act polite to someone who is screaming at your face for something you were not culpable for?

  13. Actually, anonymous at 12:16, I am not the OP (I'm actually of the opposite sex as the OP too).

    Nice try. You have some terrible instincts.


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