The Mouth on Her

Submitted by Joe:

Kelly was a girl from the Internet and we hit it off online.  In person, though, she did this weird thing with her mouth that could really only be described as "slow chewing."  She would just move her lips up and down and out and in.  Constantly.  Like she was trying to scratch an itch with her mouth.

Whenever she wasn't talking, she would do it, and even when she spoke, it was all I could think about.  When she's done talking, she's going to do that weird thing with her mouth again.  I know it.  She's done talking!  There!  She's doing it!  WTF?

She didn't make any mention of it, so it took me a lot of willpower to force my attention away.

At a coffee place we went to, we bumped into Frank, a friend of mine.  I introduced Kelly and sure enough, she was up to her mouthy shenanigans again.

Frank, however, held back a little less than I did.  He asked her, "Is your mouth okay?  It keeps moving."

She said, "Yeah, my mouth is fine," but kept doing it even more intensely than ever.

We stared at her.  I asked, "Are you sure you're okay?"

She nodded, and her mouth went berserk, all hummingbird firecracker crazy.  Faster and faster.  She covered it and stood up, bumping her chair.

"Oh my god," she said, "I have to go, like, right now."

I followed her out, but she clearly didn't want to be followed.  To this day, I have no idea what it was all about.


  1. My mouth does that sometimes too. My head also twitches a little. I have tourrette's syndrome. When people draw attention to it, it gets worse. I don't mind talking about it if someone asks, but maybe she's a bit embarrassed about it. Or maybe she's got something else going on. No telling.

  2. Everyone has a nervous twitch. I'm willing to bet that she does it unconsciously and was already worried that people would notice. Geez, just leave the poor girl alone.

  3. lol everyone has a nervous twitch? I'm gonna mildly disagree with that one.

  4. Sounds Methy.

  5. As the first Anon said - it's an effect of Tourette's. A friend of mine does the same thing.

  6. Very legitimate, very explainable situation. Tourette's as has already been mentioned. What I don't understand is why people try to pretend they don't have issues when it is so clearly something that can't be disguised. I don't date on the internet, but if I did, I would be very up front about any physical or aesthetic realities.

  7. it could be Tourettes, but TMJ might also be the problem.

  8. Oh my gosh ! Did it ever occur to you that this person has a medical problem ? Also, there are many medications that cause side effects such as the mouth movements you describe.

    Try not to be so judmental

  9. Could also be cocaine. Makes your mouth twitchy.

  10. speed freak

  11. LOLZ @ 10:17

    I dunno, I haven't met her, and I think I love her already.

  12. Tardive dyskinesia. It's a side-effect of some medications and cannot be reversed, even if you stop taking the RX.

  13. @SunnieD

    yeah, that may be it... It's a side effect of some psychiatric medications, usually called EPS or extrapyramidal symptoms, a group of side effects that manifest when taking antipsychotics. Usually, anti-cholinergics are given to help control them.

    But it can also be Tourettes... We're not really sure, but OP could have just been more understanding, and then after the date, when they're talking online/on the phone, he could have asked her about it then. At least if the twitching gets worse he wouldn't see it.

  14. Most people do things, sometimes out of nervousness. For example when im nervous i'll move my toes lol, which noone would notice because i either have shoes on or its just not something you'd notice. Also if im out to dinner or something and sitting at a table i just tape my foot, not loud so again noone notices, but i usually stop, not keep going faster and faster lol..

    She most likely got use to doing that daily and not its a habit.. just like when a drug addict has a habit of sniffing pills they with constantly make a sniffing noise and not realize it.. Her best bet would be to try and ween off of the lip chewing, people will look at her like a weirdo..

  15. This was my thought as well. I was on a medication that did affect my mouth like that (oh yay for involuntary tremors) but I was damn sure upfront about it. It's not like people aren't going to notice.

  16. The mouth chewing thing is a classic sign of a person on high dose medication for a psychiatric condition.


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