A Few Rolls Short of a Baker's Dozen

Submitted by Gary:

Lorraine worked in a bakery not far from my house.  I was a regular there most mornings, and she and I really hit it off.  She'd give me a free homemade bagel or roll most days.  I asked her out for lunch for a following weekend and she accepted.

Over the course of the date, we talked about her job at the bakery.  I told her how much I appreciated the free goodies she set aside for me.  She then asked me something weird.  She asked if I would mind eating them in front of her the next time that she gave me something.

As I would usually stop by the bakery on my way somewhere, it wasn't always possible for me to stop there for too long.  I asked her why she felt it was important that I eat the food in front of her.

She said that she had an ex-boyfriend who threw a bag of rolls at her one day, and she wanted to be sure that I wouldn't one day throw a roll that she gave me at her.  She then said that I'd probably throw it at her too, someday.

I explained that throwing rolls or bagels is not something that I typically do, but she wouldn't let up.  She pressed the point so much that by the end of the conversation I had promised to not only eat everything that she gave me right in front of her, but that I would also never walk into the bakery in a bad mood.

This was way too weird for me, so I didn't see her again and found another bakery, where I gladly paid for my breakfasts.


  1. Sounds like she had a bad case of the cakes.

    (Yeah, I got nothin)

  2. maybe she has a bun in the oven.

  3. Honestly, who throws a roll?

  4. Another date or two and you could have probably thrown her your own bag full of "cream cheese".

  5. I get off to people eating baked goods. It makes a good icing for my cinnabuns.

  6. I was expecting something about her rubbing the rolls.. hmmm.. "somewhere private" prior to giving them to you. But yeah I'm a pervert, so..

  7. Hehe. The ex would never have believed he could fuck up her life by throwing a bag of rolls at her :)

  8. @ 12:43 i think you nailed it.


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