The Donkeys and the Elephants Should Be Friends

Submitted by Paul:

One thing people don't usually share on their online dating profiles (at least as far as I've found) are their political leanings.  As a result, dinner with Jessica was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life.

One of the first five sentences she said was something like, "Did you hear about that [local] news story about that rape victim who wanted an abortion?  Hello?  Adoption?"

I didn't respond, and she jumped right on me.  "I take your silence to mean that you disagree?"

I shrugged and told her that I leaned a fair amount liberal, although I liked to keep a level head and open mind.  She muttered something like, "Typical liberal.  Pick something and stick with it."

I didn't say anything to this, and she apologized, saying that she was involved in various political causes and that I had engaged her on a subject on which she was passionate.

I then pointed out that she was the one who had brought up the abortion thing and that I just wanted to have a pleasant dinner.  She retorted, "It must be nice to have a pleasant dinner while so many babies are being mutilated."

The waiter picked that moment to come by, and must have heard the end of her statement.  I decided at that point that I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, and, as I said, keep an open mind.  Just because someone leans differently politically, or talks about mutilated babies on a first date, is no reason to write them off.  Right?

She went on about how environmentalism is destroying America, how fair trade is ludicrous, and how Obama's mishandling the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

I told her that perhaps she'd be better off with a guy who shared her political beliefs.  She replied that she liked converting liberals and that she had a flawless record of doing so.

The rest of the date went a lot like that, and suffice it to say, I'm proud to be her first failure.


  1. So, you got laid?

  2. not touching this one with a 10 foot abortion stick.

  3. Sometimes one's political beliefs are hard to quantify, but here's a rule I've found effective: ask 'em what they think about gay marriage.

    They're strongly against it (pass), they're for it (great), or they don't give a rip, which means they support it, generally, but not enough to march in a parade or anything.

  4. You handled it quite well. Very good manners. Most liberals don't get credit for that.

  5. There's no way she had a flawless record. She probably thought she converted conservative boys who said they were converted so they could get in her pants. Although who knows if she'd even let anyone get in her pants... Good for you in handling that so well- she sounds like a crazy militant and who wants to date that.

  6. I hate stories about people like this; I'm a conservative/libertarian and girls like her give the rest of us a bad name. I'm impressed with you for sticking it out as long as you did.

  7. I bet she is one of those girls who takes it up the poopchute and claim she is still a virgin.

  8. Should have told her how persuasive a good blow can be

  9. you should have asked her what her views on gun control were. when she said everyone should have a gun you could then shoot her. talk about irony!

  10. throw some splooge in her face, hand her a napkin and tell her to abort this.

  11. anyone who is so into politics as to bring up affiliations on the first date, is a poser and should be killed immediatly. should the other party participate in said conversation, double homicide is acceptable.

  12. she probably noticed your gayness, i certainly did.


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