Bright. Shiny. Carpeting.

Submitted by Jake:

Helena and I were on our way to dinner when we passed by a store with an unhealthy amount of neon in its windows.

Helena got really excited and asked me to stop to see what it was. I told her that it was a carpet store. She asked if we could stop there anyway and said that she had Attention Deficit Disorder and was attracted to bright, shiny things. I told her that maybe we could go after dinner.

All through dinner, she talked about how she couldn't walk into arcades, bookstores, or onto beaches because they would overstimulate her and drive her mad. She kept playing with her silverware and staring up into the lights like a catatonic moth.

Right after we were done with dinner, she said that she wanted to visit the carpet store. I never imagined taking a date to a carpet store, but there we went.

The store was empty, and the lonely salespeople were desperate, approaching us like drowning men, straining for a life preserver. Helena went right for the neon lights and stared at them. I pretended to be browsing for carpeting.

After ten minutes, I went up to her and asked her if she was ready to go. She mumbled that the lights were so pretty, then tore herself away from them and let me drive her home.

She told me that she had a nice time. At least one of us did.


  1. All that carpeting and still nothing got 'laid'.
    I bet she wanted to shag.

  2. Ohhhhhhhhhh, Hammertime. Kudos. :)

  3. I got $50 says she was on XTC.

  4. hm...the last comment is very likely...

  5. imagine her on Christmas?

  6. I'm with 11:30, she was trippin.

  7. Anonymous said...
    imagine her on Christmas?

    December 4, 2009 4:46 PM


  8. Alright, I have ADHD and it does not turn into, say, a crow or a kitten. Fool.

  9. *does not turn a person into


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