Success Is a Dish Best Served Cold

Submitted by Tina:

Paul and I were on a date, sitting at a cafe on a beautiful night.  He ran a small consulting business and was very obviously proud of it.  He talked quite a bit about his success and didn't seem all that interested in me.

At one point, he asked me what I did, and I reminded him (for the third time) that I was a teacher.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, "How does it pay?"

I said, "Well enough for me to support myself."

He said, "But not all that well.  I mean, you're still out looking for a guy and his support."

This was seriously offensive, but I was up to the task.  I said, "Your money obviously isn't enough to buy you love.  You're still out dating, too."

In response, he pulled out his wallet, took out a small stack of $100 bills, and fanned them right in my face.  He chuckled and put them back into his wallet.  He said, "I guarantee that you like me just a little bit more, now."

"The opposite, actually.  I think that I'm going to head home."

I stood up and so did he, suddenly aware that he wasn't in control anymore.  He said, "Sit back down."

I said, "No.  I think I'm done here."

He smiled and said, "How are you going to get home?  I drove us here."

I smiled back and replied, "I'm successful enough to have friends who'll come and pick me up, and I'm also successful enough for a taxi.  I don't really need you for anything."

He had nothing to say to that.