My Non-Prom Date

Submitted by Ned:

Back in high school, I was infatuated with Stacey Jeffries. She was beautiful, fun, and way out of my league. I asked her out once sophomore year and once junior year. She had rejected me outright both times, so I had to be content to simply be without her.

That was until I had the idea to ask her to prom. I had nothing more to lose, and so I asked her, and wouldn't you know it, she said yes! I couldn't believe it. This girl could have had any guy she wanted.

She insisted that I take her prom dress shopping. We must have visited twenty places over the course of a weekend. At each place, she would try on dresses and ask the shopkeepers questions like, "Does it come in blue?" or "I like the cut, but not the design. Can you change the design?" it soon was apparent to me that it was very difficult to pin down what her style was. Dissatisfaction was her style.

Finally, at the eight-millionth place, she found a dress (it looked the same to me as countless ones before) that she liked. She agreed to take it and then asked me to pay for it.

"I'm not paying for it," I said, "It's your prom dress."

"You asked me to the prom. It's a date. You pay," she said.

"I don't think that's how it works," I told her.

"If you don't pay, then I won't go with you," she said.

"If you don't pay, then you won't end up at the prom, since no guy is going to pay for your dress for you."

"Drive me home," she said, "This is over."

I ended up going to the prom with a friend of mine, and she ended up going with some other guy. She tried to rub it in my face the entire time. I felt really bad for her date.

Daddy paid for her dress, though.


  1. Sounds like the type of girl who wouldn't have went with you anyways once you paid for her dress. Could decision in not falling for her trick.

  2. Good call, dude.
    You'd have to pay for all:
    ...therapy sessions
    ...the divorce
    etc. etc.

  3. Why couldn't you just pay for my dress? You are so cheap!

  4. @9:37 yep that's what the slutbags did when I was in high school.

  5. I thought you said she was fun!

  6. Why pay for an abortion. Just use a wire hanger. Now that I think about it, why would you need an abortion if you bought condoms?

  7. What does my dress have to do with an abortion?

  8. both of you should have been aborted.


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