John Fogarty's Biggest Fan

Submitted by John:

Ellen wanted to go to a John Fogarty show for our first date.  I hadn't heard much of his stuff, but she was a big fan, so she took care of the tickets and off we went.

When we made it to the venue, they took our tickets and informed us that they were fake.

"What do you mean, they're fake?" she asked.  "They're not fake."

They tried rescanning them and sure enough, they weren't going through.  They handed them back to her.

I asked her where she bought them from and she said that they were from a friend.  She tried again and they attempted to scan them a third time, and they didn't go through.  "Sorry, miss."

"No!" she shouted, "They're real!  They're real!"  She broke through the ticket takers and ran inside, leaving me alone at the head of a line of really impatient, angering John Fogarty fans.

"Get her!" the takers said, and some big guys pursued her.  I stood off to the side and waited.

A minute later, they dragged the kicking, stomping, snarling, spitting Ellen out and onto the street.  When they released her, she tried breaking in again, but they held her back and threatened to call the police.

She looked at me, said, "Take me home," and that was the end of the date.  It ended before it began, I guess.