The Date Was a Hit!

Submitted by Drew:

Mandy offered to drive and picked me up for our date. On our way downtown, she hit a squirrel.

She stopped the car short, said, "Oh my god!" and pulled over. She ran out of the car and over to the squirrel, whose tail was flailing about on the pavement.

Mandy bent over it and looked at me with tears in her eyes. "What do we do?"

It looked hurt pretty bad, and there really wasn't much that we could do. I told her that I didn't know what to do, and that it was probably not going to last long.

"You're a monster!" she said, "I'm not going to give up on him."

She picked it up with her bare hands and put in on a towel that she got from her trunk. She told me to call the city's animal control unit.

I didn't know the city animal control unit's number offhand, so I suggested that we find an all-night vet.

She had me drive around for about an hour until we found a place and dropped it off. She apologized for how she had acted, and then asked to raincheck the date.

I told her that I wasn't interested. What if she hit a chipmunk next time?


  1. Sorry, I'm with Mandy. I think Drew was the bad date. Have a little more compassion for living things Drew.

  2. I would have been crying my eyes out if I hit a squirrel!! I wonder if the squirrel lived, or if the vet put him down, what happens, etc...

  3. Compassion would have been backing the car up to finish it off. The vet probably tossed it into the dumpster after they left.

  4. Anonymous #3: Cruel, but true.

  5. You are not being very sensitive. Of course, any person with a heart would have felt bad about it as well. I can understand her wanting a raincheck on the date.

  6. @Anon #3: Speaking as a vet tech, not a chance. We have a wee bit more integrity and compassion than that. Depending on the extent of its injuries - and if it survived for an hour after that, they weren't immediately life-threatening at least - they either euthanized it or gave it some pain meds and passed it along to a wildlife rehaber.

    Drew, you were an ass. Anyone would be upset the first time they hit an animal. Mandy is lucky she avoided a relationship with you, as empathy doesn't seem to be a quality you possess.

  7. Yeah, I think this is another case of the bad date actually being worse for the other person.

  8. Anyone else hungry after reading this?

  9. Wow...look at all the PETA bleeding hearts in here.....it's a squirrel...look on any road anywhere and you'll see this sort of thing happens. To squirrels, chipmunks, racoons, turtles.
    It was an accident .
    The squirrel probably suffered more than it should have to by driving around for an hour, idiots. Imagine yourself being run over and instead of immediate attention, writing in pain for an hour without medication.

    Many of you will still probably not 'get it'....but you're probably the same hypocrites who wear leather or suede.

    1. I wear leather and eat meat. I also try very hard not to hit animals when I drive. There is a difference between killing an animal to make use of it on the one hand and killing an animal through carelessness on the other hand.

  10. Drew sure posts alot in this thread!


  11. Drew's not an asshole for not being upset about hitting a squirrel, it's a rodent and it was an accident.

    That said, he was an ass for not caring that it upset her; I mean come on, she even apologized about ruining the date.

  12. Some people simply just don't have the compassion, some people do. Either way, I'm sure the date was miserable for both of them. Although, it was just a a squirrel, it's not like he was a family pet that someone was expecting home...

  13. Drew is a douche. I am really surprised she even wanted a raincheck on the date after he proved himself to be a heartless and self-absorbed wanker. I hope he enjoys jerking off because he's not gonna get laid by anything hot with that attitude.

  14. JMG:Eeww! I understand that she was upset. I get it. But you can't save every squirrel. And yelling at him didn't fix anything.

  15. She sounds annoying. Someone who would never see the beauty of something like Shark Week. Good job calling it quits. Let the emo kids have her.

  16. re anonymous 3:11 Nov 10

    Hypocrite? She said it to a guy on a date! ...this is a merely a posting site, stoop.

  17. I loved this story the first time i read/saw it on seinfeld.

  18. I'd rather be with someone who cares for little animals than this guy who thinks this woman's caring nature makes for a bad date.


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