I'll Make Up Your Mind

Submitted by Trevor:

This wasn't a first date. It was a last date after over a month of dates.

Michelle and I had kissed once, on our third date, and thereafter she became very reserved. She wouldn't write to me as often, she wouldn't be as bubbly as she had once been, and she didn't seem to like spending time around me as much as she did at first.

I took her out to see Up, and afterward took her to an ice cream place. While we were sitting down, I asked her what was going on.

She said that she didn't feel right since I had kissed her, and that I had moved too quickly.

I said, "Why didn't you let me know earlier? Like shortly afterward?"

"I don't know. Why did you have to kiss me, anyway? It could've just been a hug. Kisses mean something. They're biological."

I said, "It felt right at the time, for me."

She countered, "Well, I've been going through hell ever since. You didn't have to kiss me. It could have been a hug. Do you agree?"

"No. If I wanted to hug you, I would have hugged you. You were just very attractive to me in that moment and it felt like the right thing to do. If I hurt you, then I apologize."

She said, "I don't want you kissing me again."

I said, "Okay. So we're done, then?"

"No.  I still want to date you.  I think."

I groaned. What was this all about? I can't see myself in a long-term relationship with someone who never wants to kiss me, and especially someone who doesn't know if she wants to also be in a long-term relationship. Maybe I'm superficial, and if so, then so be it. I need physical intimacy every now and again.

I said, "So how do you see this going?"

"I don't know. I just don't know."

If she needed time to work herself out, then that's fine. I just don't like being strung along, and I like women who have themselves figured out. Sorry. So I said, "Let's just be friends."

"I've slept with three guys this past month," she blurted.

I wasn't one of those three guys, so I said, "Well, then I think we have our answer."

She reached across the table for me and said, "But I really like you. I just... We should stay together.  I don't know."

"Well, I do. Let's just stay friends."

She seemed okay with that, but I haven't spoken to her in months. Why get myself sucked back into all that?