...But You're a Bad Date.

Submitted by Don:

My first two dates with Sandra went well. For our third date, we went to a zoo.

Sandra was usually frendly and warm, but on zoo day she was a bit icy. I'd say, "You want to go hit up the monkey house?" and she'd reply, "I don't care."

The first and second times we had such an exchange, I ignored it, thinking that she was just in a bad mood. The third time, though, and I decided against continuing my time with her until she told me what was up.

I asked her flat out, "Sandra, what's wrong?"

"Nothing!" she snapped.

"You're acting like you're very upset. What's the problem? Do you want to go do something else?"

Then, she did something quite unexpected. She grabbed my arm and buried her face into my shoulder.

She said, "Don't be angry, okay? Don't be angry. I'm a good person."

"Uh..." I led her off to the side of the path, hopefully away from where there were too many people. I asked, "Why would I be angry? What happened?"

"Don't be angry," she repeated, "I'm a good person."

I patted her head and squeezed her tight. What else could I do? I suggested that we go visit the bat caves and she nodded to accept the idea.

She was really quiet for the rest of the date, and I never found out what the hell she was talking about. I guess I won't ever, now, as it was too much of a turn-off to contact her again.


  1. Obviously she used to smuggle monkey organs for sale on the black market. Duh

  2. Yeah, dating bipolar chicks is tough. Mike Taylor

  3. she probably was with you but had a boyfriend or something and felt guilty

  4. How do you not find out, I'd make her relive the grief to know what the hell she was talking about.

  5. Maybe she just murdered someone. Or worked for Enron.


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