Paint Me Confused

Submitted by Andrew:

Kelly was a friend of my college roommate. He showed me pictures of her and talked her up so I agreed to a date.

We sat down at an Italian place and commenced with the getting to know you. She seemed nice until I said, "But what I really want to be is a painter."

She stared at me. "But you're not really going to be a painter, are you?" she asked as if her life depended on my answer.

Curious about her sudden change in attitude, I said "Well I want to be so we'll see."

She said, "But what about benefits? Job security?"

I said, "I'll worry about that when I get there."

She replied, "I think it's very noble, wanting to be a painter. If that's what you want to do then you should do it."

"Thank you."

"But I can't imagine why you'd want to be one. I mean, everyone's heard of starving artists. Haven't you?"

"Uh, yeah. But I'm going to do my best."

"Good for you! I admire that."


"But what's going to be your real job?"

I cleared my throat and asked, "Kelly, do you think that it's awesome, me wanting to be a painter, or not? Pick one."

She raised an eyebrow at me and said, "What are you talking about? You're not a painter?"

I couldn't take it anymore, so I changed the subject. Maybe she was just nervous. But for me, it was like being on a date with two people, and I wasn't having it.


  1. He does come across as a bit of a cock who got in a strop because a girl didn't fall over in gushing amazement when he said he was a painter.

  2. Well, clearly you would expect some consistency from the girl. I would anyway.

  3. Now who's being naive, Anonymous #3.

  4. What a passive-aggressive expletive. How condescending could she be in asking "what will your real job be?" It'd be one thing to ask "what will you do for money if painting can't pay the bills by itself" but to say painting wouldn't be his "real" job just shows that all this shallow little so-and-so cares about is money. I'd have ended the date right there, I think.

  5. Mundane, possibly even gold-digging, materialist boat anchor of a woman. Not the kind of person any artist should date, for sure. Run away!

    She should go date an MBA or something. God I can't stand women looking for "a good provider". This is 2009; go get your own job and career if you want success. I'm making my own decisions, and if I choose to be poor, and an artist, I'm doing it. You don't have to come along. See ya.

  6. What an insensitive boor that girl was. I would have stormed out of there unless of course she was exceptionally hot.

    Hypocrisy is the hommage which vice renders to virtue.

    (Francois duc de la Rochefoucauld)

  7. What if instead of telling her you wanted to be a painter, you told her that you had a huge foreskin? Do you think she would have been the same two-headed monkey in that case?

  8. i'm guessing this guy's date was patronizing him about wanting to be a painter because she could tell that he was just trying to impress her with his romanticized notion of himself. I'm an artist myself as are most of the people i associate with and nobody would ever say "I want to be a painter when i grow up?" why? Because you should already be painting! You should already be a painter, even if you aren't supporting yourself by painting. This guys is an idiot and his date saw right through that.

  9. That guy may be flakey or impulsive, but she's not impressing anyone with her depth or culture. If she had that much of an artists insight she could have started talking about art history or styles to see if he was bluffing.

  10. Mister Pointer Outer, did you choose that name because you have NO foreskin? You sure seem obsessed with them...

  11. girl sounds like a dream killer

  12. I'm sorry, but I have to partially agree... Painting is a hobby, and therefore, it's something that you should already be doing, even if you're not making money off of it. The OP should have said something along the lines of, "Well, painting is my prime hobby and passion. I hope to make a living out of that someday." Then, upon her further questioning, he should have told her what he plans to do for income if that falls through.

  13. I don't see what the big deal is. A girl's main priority on a first date is to first make sure the guy is not secretly a loser. Things like living with the parents or having no car or no job or vague comments about being an artist of some sort without any real plan/vision/specifics are all big red-flag warning signs that need to be explained/justified. How does a guy not realize how many other billion guys try to impress girls with the "I'm an artist" routine but are just big losers? Grow up, guys. Always be ready with a real answer to the standard job/car/apartment questions instead of freaking out and calling the girl shallow. It's not about the girl being a golddigger. It's about the girl trying to find out if you have your act together.


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