From the "Dudes, Why Can't I Score?" Department:

Submitted by Maire:

I'm a PhD researcher who looks significantly younger than I actually am. The bane of my existence is "freshers week" - when the Freshmen hit the campus.

Yesterday, I'm minding my own business in a coffee shop when this random boy walks up to me and asks, "Hey, what are you up to tonight?"

I saw that he was with friends, so I said really quietly, so as not to embarrass him, "I'm not a Fresher, I'm 26. I may even be teaching you. Tonight, I'll be going home to my house and my fiance. Why don't you just tell your friends that I have a boyfriend?"

I smiled as he turned away, thinking what a good deed I had done, protecting his fragile image among his new friends. He then roared across the coffee shop, "Dudes, she's like 30!"


  1. What did you expect? It's college. College freshman are basically the same as high school seniors.

  2. Haaaa! I always get the young ones too.

  3. Best I've read on here in awhile

  4. Heh, well that's better than having him continue to hit on you anyway after you tried to let him down so softly.

  5. 26, youre still a child

  6. Anonymous said...
    26, youre still a child
    Have you ever actually met a professor? Academics are basically children for life. That is basically the whole reason to be an academic.

  7. well arent you cool going home to your fiance and your house. stop acting all high and mighty. you are 26 probably fresh out of college

  8. I've met people like you. High & mighty and tiresome, over educated and boring. With no real fiance, possibly a house with 12 cats in it and some dry toast.

  9. Wow, I'm so glad I decided to share a funny story. How clearly you have seen through what a terrible person I am in those ten lines of text. Seriously - you're judging my life to be meanless and cat-filled? You'vce just been seriously offended by a stupid thing that had me in stitches in a coffee shop. Sad.

  10. That'll teach YOU for not just saying "I'm sorry hun, I've got a boyfriend". You telling him you were older and he made a mistake was simply not necessary :)

  11. I think it was kinda funny to be patronising to the freshman, because it totally backfired.
    She got a laugh out of it and, unlike most of the stories here, she isn't whining about anything.
    I don't see how that makes her 'high and mighty' at all.

    I laughed loud enough to startle my coworker at this one :D


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